


Fransykes Oneshots. [open request]

by Jxdith



Category: Bring Me The Horizon, You Me At Six
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Character Death, Dominant To Submissive, First Time Bottoming, Food Kink, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I actually write oneshots once a month so yeah lol, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Injuries, Mouth Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Behavior, Suggestive Themes, Teen Crush, Topping from the Bottom, Unrequited Love, at first lol, related to the others i think lol, slight lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2018-12-27 17:08:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12085512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jxdith/pseuds/Jxdith
Summary: Guess what, I'm open for request. But, read the Notes first.A bunch of Fransykes oneshots compilation made by me. Filled with smut, angst, possible fluff, and some song-based ones.





	1. Observant.

**Author's Note:**

> The very important thing to remind people in the very beginning ever since writing fics with same gender shipping happened lol. But since people seems to always forget that, lady's and gentlemen here's my reasoning:
> 
> Preference - Obviously how you'll see these two's positions if you ever doubted what tables they are placed at. It's really important to let the readers know what preferences you prefer to your ship if they're ever reading something that should fit in their cup of tea. You don't want them to feel uncomfortable right? Seriously, this is the most common thing I ever seen in fanfics whenever I read one, they tend to never or forget to tell the readers what preference they'll be using when they're writing fics, this situation alone distresses me a lot I swear no joke.
> 
> So here it is: Dom Josh and Sub Oli. And I'm pretty sure you already know what those words mean anyway tho.
> 
> But really, this preference is completely uncommon to find I swear to god. Despite me having it with a love/hate relationship haha.
> 
>  Hope you like the future works in the future!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are a bit observing tho. Under 4506 words. Yup, Josh's POV everyone!!

It's 12:06 am and I'm still awake. God, I should be sleeping right now.

But I can't obviously, not right what happened after she left.

Really, I thought everything was going well within my relationship with her, I was literally shocked that she would do that to me of all people. I gave her my all, my emotions, my dignity and now she just fucking threw it off my face like it was nothing at all. Fuck, why did I even dated her anyway?

She promised me from everything that I've said to her, and now she's fucking with another guy that I have no clue who it fucking was.

I'm so close to my limit of trusting people like I could kill someone.

This is like the second time I broke down another relationship. I swear on my oath if I'm ever going to lose to another person again I'm giving up everything on it. Literally. Don't even get me started, I'll even vow to never love someone ever again.

Sigh.

This is not even how I planned my night anyways, even though I'm in the state of complete distressed and mild fury.

Thinking about it, I really tried so hard not to spill tears right now for such a stupid situation, I can handle these more than these feelings themselves. But god, I seriously wish I would have someone who I could trust completely.

But literally it's hard to find someone like that when you've been broken down a few times, imagine being that thing indented in your mind almost all the time. It could possibly come out of you and suddenly take it to someone else who doesn't deserve it for doing nothing. And you know I don't want that, so I learned it in my own way to control my feelings.

I guess the best way to do is still stick to my original plan for my night; drink my problems away this time, instead of just enjoying them right now. It's more ironic to think that she just called me yesterday to plan this night to get her but no, she just came to my place and just fucking broke up with me adding to how much stress I'm always having whenever I went home from work.

Kind of great right? Haha.

So I stood up, took my keys and walk straight down at the stairs of the apartment I occupied.

I really wasn't up for anything right now, it's also because that I don't have work tomorrow. All I wanted to do right now in my night is having a glass to drink. Even though it's pretty fucking late. Whatever, it's not like that bitch will be coming home anyway to yell at me to go home.

I went inside my car and started the engine, I've decided what place I'm going in anyway whenever I'm worked up. I was going to one of my favorite bar places here in town, it was Gerard's bar.

He always have the best servings he ever gave to anyone and manage to be always good at impressing people with this mad skills, the drinks that he always recommend to people and also me where pretty great though too, in general he's just pretty good at making drinks as a bartender. The dude was made for an impressionism, he had that look where he could go anywhere, and he's like everyone's type. I became friends with him not too long ago I think. Sometimes I always like to invite all my mates to his place whenever we find a place to hang out the night, they always point at me whenever we plan on hanging out and I really have no idea what place is best except for Gerard's place. So I guess we always hang there a lot.

Even this place is also my favorite whenever I'm in the mood to drink when I'm mad. Ha.

I parked my car in the empty slot and made my way out. I opened the door to the bar I stated to and saw that there wasn't a few people in here.

Huh, funny that whenever this time around there's always a fuck ton of people in here; being them drunk, hooking up and probably passed out on some other places. Gerard on the other hand kind of wishes those to never happen again but infuriatingly it still does, and I kind of feel sorry for him because he always tells off to people to go home, but they always tell him to fuck off or probably being thrown words at. Sigh. Sometimes I just wish he could've find another job that was kind of worthy where this shit wouldn't happen to him.

I wouldn't even doubt if I had another job to his place so I could help him out.

Anyway, I made my way at the bar table and sat on the stool. I'm really kind of lucky that there's not really much people right now because I'm obviously not in the mood to deal with hookers or possibly drug dealers right now.

Yeah, I came here because my ex-girlfriend cheated on me. All in all, I just really wanted to drink my life away for this moment so I could just forget about her getting her way in my life or just her completely.

"Huh. Josh. Didn't know you'll be here awake this time around. Normally you only come here at eight to nine at night only, so I guess this is a surprise." I looked up and saw the red-haired man in front of me, wiping off his cocktail glass in the inside. I let out a sigh.

"I'm really just not in the mood right now." I covered my face with my palms. Rubbing them off. Just the thought of spilling everything to Gerard made me groan, I don't want anyone to be involve with my problems right now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Gerard offered, I told him that it's better to not really talk about it and he understood fast and asked me what drink I'll have instead. I ordered liquor and a bit of mix with vodka to it.

I gave him the money and he's up on his heels.

Sometimes I really wish I just didn't stick up with females instead, I always manage to date them but every time I did it always ended up terrible and pretty early to say the least. Y'know ever since I thought about wanting to date boys back in senior high school instead, I kind of rubbed off the idea to it because thinking about it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I wasn't used to it but my friends- who are more likely open about each other's sexuality- did give me advices and advantages to it and I got to say I'm still not pretty sure about it, but I'll think about it sometimes.

It did helped don't worry.

Well, ever since I thought about it, it never left my mind, even until now. Maybe that's the reason why I became a bisexual so suddenly, the thought never left. And of course my friends as always, accepted and supported me for coming out.

But to be honest, I've never dated guys before. And in all honesty I'll have to admit, I only dated girls up until now is because I wanted to get rid of the thought of myself from liking guys back then anyway. But too bad it didn't work. I'm not planning any more in the future.

Hm, maybe it's better if I dated guys instead.

 

_Wait a minute._

"... I'm  _so stupid._ " I groaned, palming my face stupidly. A bowl of realization fed me up sinking in my throat as it came up to my mind.

Why didn't I thought of that before? Lord, I really am an idiot sometimes.

"Here's your drink, Josh." I snapped out of my thoughts and saw my glass right in front of me, not later I immediately took a sip and wow, it's still pretty strong. Even though I came to this place so many times my alcohol tolerance wasn't high enough to control it. It's because sometimes Gerard's choice of buying drinks for his storage cabinets are pretty strong and I don't mind sometimes, my mates though they kind of loves it, and the others obviously can't handle it. Explains why they manage to be drunk so easily in just three drinks in eight minutes.

I just coughed it off, an effortless attempt of snapping myself out from the effect of the drink. And somehow I manage to succeed luckily.

"Call me if you need anything, 'kay?" I pulled out my thumb instead, and then he left again.

Later on I took three shots already, and my alcohol tolerance started to get the hang of it finally. I manage to order a couple glasses of water from Gerard so I can stay sober for this night, I don't really want to cause any trouble inside of Gerard's bar right now and stress him out about it, plus I'm also not in the mood to do so. So I stood my guard to it and took the opportunity to be responsible for my drinking habits.

I didn't know I've been starring into space and fifteen minutes have been passed until I heard the clink of the bell in the entrance door.

What the fuck?

Who in the hell comes up inside the bar this time around? Except for me though, just for now.

As I turn my head to look up who went inside the bar I saw a male figure came walking up towards from the bar stools three to four chairs away from me. I squinted my eyes to examine who it was.

I saw a man with brown hair locks with his hair cut up at his earlobe level with some bangs hanging at his forehead. Though he was pretty skinny, and damn look at those tattoos though, he has from his neck and up to both of his arms and hands. He was somehow wearing black tight jeans and a dark grey shirt. He was sniffling and was rubbing both of his arms together in an attempt to comfort himself. I really can't see his face clearly since there's like only four lights on and it is still pretty dim. But he had been crying I guess.

Gerard came walking up to him. "Oli? Hey, you okay? Have you been crying?" Oli, I presumed, bit his lip and nodded his head. He told Gerard that it's better to just drop the subject off and as always, he let him be. Just like what I did a while.

I also swore I even heard him even saying 'what is up with people right now staying up late and shutting me out to help them? Sigh, figures.' He asked what drink he wanted to and Oli said he wanted a glass of velvet wine. With ice. And some lemon. With a mix of tequila too.

And somehow he also ordered some strawberries?

That's really weird, who orders wine and strawberries inside the bar these days? And also late at night? Probably him only. I hope so.

Just after Gerard left him to do his drink, he slowly turned his head to me. And, in an instant I swiftly turned my head to face my drink and down on it fast. Fuck, did he noticed that I was staring at him? I hope not. He might think I'm some creep and I don't want that, not now.

Huh.

God I wonder who this guy is.

Gerard never told me anything about him before, he only told me about his friends in the past months when I came here to drink ever single week and we somehow became friends because I always came here once in a while. And after we did we always talk and chat, he somehow manage to let me meet his friends and I also did the same for him too. Really. We've been friends for a while now. But that 'while' means like a month for me already. I've also remember that he told me he doesn't have that much friends in his life since he lives pretty far away from his hometown to live here and that's all he ever told me.

But never have he told me this guy before. Then suddenly, out of the blue my stupid curiosity rises.

I don't really know but...

There's something about this guy that makes me want to know him. His appearance gave me another reason to be intrigued. His appearance. Really. Is something I've never seen before. I've never seen him anywhere in this side of town too.

He's so different. I like it.

I decided that instead of just almost finishing off everything in my drink, I think maybe I could get use some of my time to... I don't know, observe someone?

It's been long since I've done it, I think? I've always been an observer when I'm really bored or if I'm in a really serious mood. Or in general, I'm really just an observer. I never got to observe a lot of things this time around because every minute here feels like I'm busy, and that thing has been indented in my mindset ever since I've had my second girlfriend.

I really need to go back doing the things I want to do most of the time, it's making everything boring to be honest. Anyway, as Gerard came up walking to Oli and gently placed his drink, Oli thanked him and pulled out the money from his back pocket.

Gerard told him that it's alright, that he doesn't need to pay and it's on the house.

_Woah. Wait._

I'm stunned, really, it's rare for me to see Gerard giving someone a drink for free for no vivid reason to be honest and I've never seen him done this before in my own eyes.

Who is this guy? Really?

This person must be really something. The way Gerard told him has put my curiosity to the max, I even squinted my eyes at him again.

Oli in fact disagrees with Gerard, he told him that it's alright that he really needs to pay for him. But all in all Gerard really just tells him it's alright. Oli didn't fight back and gave only a small thank you in a small voice.

_Cute._

Wait what. I just thought about this dude's voice cute.

 

Welp, who cares, I'm bisexual anyways, and it's not like I care anymore what people thinks about my sexuality anyway.

And I don't really care if this guy thinks I'm a creep right now, what I care about now is making my night a bit, interesting I guess.

And want to know what I did? I've observe him. Literally. With only just small glances and that, but whenever he looks away I manage to look at him instantly and sometimes pretending to look at spaces.

In which I recognized he looked bored. Not really what I was expecting.

Sometimes later I realized he haven't been drinking his wine yet, the look of his champagne glass looks different unlike the look of it after Gerard gave it to him before, the lemon that was hanging on the glass edge was sitting on it and was sitting on the plate beside the glass he's holding. The strawberries also stayed untouched.

_Wow, it still kind of looks the same only the lemon is missing, great observing skills, what the hell is wrong with me._

As I was going to continue to lightly insult myself mentally I heard the clink of the glass from the person I was observing to.

Huh, a clink? From him?

I looked back to him again. And as I laid my eyes to the man sitting four chairs away from me, what I saw wasn't what I expecting for him to act.

He was drinking extremely slowly from the glass, the velvet wine inside the glass he ordered was being lessened and lessened down to his throat, yet his teeth somehow caught up with the ice from it. Weirdly, the ice would have been melted a few minutes ago but he manage to always order more from Gerard, in which Gerard undoubtingly gives him more as he wishes to.

Normally, my interest when observing wasn't really that big of a spark to the things surrounding me. They all seem so equal and nothing really different to it, nothing really diverse or sparked something inside me even once. It was only a huge habit.

Yes, I've done it in my whole entire life. Nothing really changes at all. Really.

But now? I don't even know.

This is new.  _Really_  new.

And the raw burning interest inside me tells me otherwise to start exploring it. In no words I, in no doubt, gave in without hesitation.

And to be honest, this is subconsciously rare for me to even feel. And I'm thankful for it. So I guess right now, I was on the edge of my seat watching this person before my very eyes.

His eyes softly tilted his head too to look down at the medium sized ice stuck in his mouth in which he also manages to stop drinking too. He softly fluttered his eyes and closes them, that act itself made my heart skip a beat.

Those eye movements.  _Those eyes. Those hazel perfect brown eyes._

God don't tell me I'm attracted to him. I felt a small pang of sweat fell from my forehead.

 _Fuck._ I don't know why I just noticed it right now but...

 _Hell_. This dude  _is_  attractive as hell. I wasn't expecting the look of his eyes to catch my heart like that.

I fixated my eyes on him more and squinted them, attempting to focus more of my vision to him only. I decided to continue to observe him, I didn't care if I really needed to glance my eyes away from him or when his head tilted to look up at me.

And now, what he did next was something I never expected from him completely.

The chunk of ice stuck in his mouth with the glass was now on his lips carrying the small cube of ice on his small pinkish mouth, his unexposed eyes still laid closed, making him look so relaxed and tranced. He placed the champagne glass down gently.

His head was tilting up in a minor acute angle that his chin is equally targeted to the champagne glass below.

The next my eyes saw him he stuck his tongue out under the cube, I swore my ears heard him gave off a small sigh and he soothingly and slowly placed his elbow at the counter, touching softly the small cube on his mouth with his index finger.

A half second later, what set me off the edge and stagger me was that somehow the cube slides out of his lips and very accurately fell right below to his half-empty champagne glass as his tongue retreats back to his attractive mouth of his a second after the cube fell.

The cube also creating two echoes of clinks from the glass to the whole big room, they also somehow manage to spill tiny droplets from the glass to the counter as it bounced. His eyes still closed and fluttering somehow, leaving only his mouth gaped open and his tongue not much visibly exposed but is still hanging in a small shape.

He left another breath from his fucking attractive mouth of his. I gulped.

My eyes are half widen with astonishment and sudden excitement.

_Holy. shit._

I swear, I feel like my hormones are raging on around my knees and crotch already. I wasn't expecting in my whole entire life that observing someone, could be such a  _turn on._

_No shit._

He was such a  _fucking turn on_  I swear, I tried calming down myself as I continued to look at this dude.

I carry on with my observation, even if it hurts to not look at this guy without having a raging boner right now. As he opened his eyes slowly, I came back to my old routine before looking at my glass before me and gave a long sip. I can feel his eyes looking at me directly.

When I decided to think that he's looking away now I looked back at him again and he was grabbing the small red-colored fruit on his wooden bowl before him.

And as always, it's not what I fucking expected.

He placed the end of the tip of the strawberry at his lips and he slowly pushing it through inside his lips into his mouth with small force like he was trying to make himself open his mouth. Halfway he did, he also closes his eyes again as he fluttered them closed. And as the strawberry was stuck at his lips again, he removed his hands from it as the tiny fruit hangs from his mouth then his teeth made a 'shimp' sound as he took a bite from it. The other half was stuck at his lips too as he manage to use his tongue to grab it and eat it as a whole, leaving nothing left hanging from his mouth.

As I was supposed to tell my reaction to it, he also licked his lips after. The action causing a spark through my crotch.

I really tried with all my strength to not get myself a boner right now.

Fuck.

I was breathless for a moment. This time I manage to look away from him now. Great lord, I feel like I want to fuck him through that mouth of his so fucking  _badly_  like it's not even funny.

All in all, I think he was really seducing me without even knowledge to it. Or maybe it was intentional?

Hmm. God I need get out right now, and I mean really RIGHT  _NOW._

I looked down slowly on my pants and luckily I didn't catch myself a boner right now but now I feel like I wanted to, but the thought that this guy might notice my boner would make me want to shrink myself to the ground and let the floor eat me away as a whole, so yeah good idea to have it not yet turning it into it.

As I manage to end my observation to this extremely hot dude, I stood up from my stool and called Gerard. I swipe off small debris on my pants after. Gerard swiftly came in view from outside his staff room and I told him after that I was going to go home after.

God I really need to go home now, the toilet won't be in much help to be honest. When I was supposed to turn on my heel, Gerard stopped me. "Wait, Josh! I forgot to meet you to someone!"

Oh.

Oh God. Was it going to be Oli?

I let out a breath and turned to face Gerard and said "Who?". And as I expected, he went up to Oli and introduced him to me, Oli stood up from his stool and faced to me completely.

I on the other hand was contemplating whether I should look at him or not just in case that he might show his creep out face or something. So instead I looked at Gerard and gave small glances at random spaces.

"Josh I almost forgot about introducing you to Oli! I'm sorry you didn't knew anything about him! I actually thought that I told you all of my friends and let you meet them all but I almost forgot about him!" Gerard says as he scratches his head from behind. He turned to look at Oli and gave a small sorry at him, Oli politely brushes it off like always.

Oh, so that's why.

"So Oli, I would like you to meet Josh, he's been a customer of mine for a month and we somehow became friends after so suddenly." Gerard clicked his tongue and continues as he introduced me to Oli.

I just waved awkwardly and gave a small 'hey'.

"And Josh, this is Ols, he's been a friend of mine since college and we rarely contact each other though, explains why I've forgot about talking him about you." Gerard gave an embarrassing smile as I told him that it's fine.

I've now had the guts to turn and look at the inked man in front of me and saw him giving me a polite smile and somehow took his hand out to give me a handshake. "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Oliver Sykes, but just refer to me as Oli as Gerard says." Oli says.

His face.

God his  _fucking_  face.

He looks so unbelievably beautiful. It's so unnatural.

His voice and accent too, it reminds me of the people from Sheffield. He must have lived there.

But hell, the slight tone of pitch his voice has when he talks is just music to my fucking ears.

The features his face shows have small bits of feminism and I love it entirely.

Those hazel eyes that I predicted to look like just adds to it that took my breath away just by looking at him.

My astonished smile a while ago somehow turned into a visibly smirk to him, and he was taken aback yet I manage to shake his hand reassuringly without letting him sink it, introducing myself too. "Nice to meet you too, I'm Josh Franceschi. But just call me Josh too."

My eyes raked down to his whole figure and I couldn't help but laid my eyes on them a bit longer. 

I can almost feel my eyes darken with lust just by looking at his slim body. Consciously I let go of his hand and placed my hand back to my leather jacket's pocket.

Still wasn't looking at him I manage to tell them some words in a quiet way that feels like I'm distracted. "I really need to go back to my place so I'll see you guys around I guess." I mumbled. More like to myself.

As my eyes went back to look at Oli again, his head was tilted to the left side and his eyes are half-lidded as he looked at me, giving me a smirk too as he tried to look appealing and innocent. He slowly gaped his mouth open to speak.

"I'll see you later then." He said the words in somehow seductive whisper as I did, giving a wink after. The smirk from his face was replaced with such a polite smile instead and a giggle past his teeth, I really couldn't help it but fall in love with that beautiful wide smile of his.

God, I'm glad I'm seeing him more often. Couldn't wait to make him mine someday.


	2. On The Table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty close to suggestive tho. Btw I'm only gonna give very small details to these oneshots in here tho so yeah. If you really wanna see more or the whole breakdown of this whole oneshot check out the whole thing on my Wattpad! my username's _jxdith and you'll probs gonna see more fransykes on that so yeah *flips* Oli's POV everyone!
> 
> Under 3466 words.

"You _\- what??_ "I exclaimed on the phone a little too exaggerated, too tired to even think about what I'm even trying to say.

Out of all the time in the world, why now?

I heard Josh chuckled on the line and I was a little confused as to why he would decide to eat with me close to midnight.

Sigh, he could be so different and mysterious, but mostly weird.

Josh and I have been dating for two to three years now, he was the first one to ask me out and I didn't mind, and creepily sometimes he does things that I never could have expected him to do so, it sometimes intrigues me and ask him a lot to it which always leads him to say that its partially normal and he has no idea why. Don't worry, he's completely human, it's normal.

I started to get used to it after four to six months after our first date together and its completely harmless to say the least, but it never changes the fact that it's weird but at the same time I kind of like it? Yeah. But I'll never know why he would do that, and probably will never get the chance to know it all.

Were just one of those couples that would work together pretty  _good. Haha._

Although, as I think deeper, I just wish we could've lived together instead. We always seem to call each other more often and we sometimes meet each other whenever we wanted to, it's really wearing out on me, and maybe him too also. I just, never really have the courage to ask him if he wants to, I'm just really shy to be honest. And I got no plans to change so.

"Come on, Oli. At least I'd get the chance to be with you eating dinner." Josh said as he chuckled, nervously as I thought. "Josh, dinner was like 3 hours ago." I said my voice monotone and groggily, I just wanted to sleep.

"Oh really?" Josh said, he knew me and I wasn't aware of that for a second, I was so sleepy that I forgot the fact that Josh knew me pretty well that I don't usually eat at night, I always seemed to lie to him all the time and he always sees through it. I should probably take note to remember not to lie to him at times like these, he always knows what are and what not.

But now, I'm really not in the mood to do so, yet I played with him a bit. "Yeah, what makes you think I don't, hm?" I smirked, even though I'm obviously tired I still smirked even though he can't see it, as I thought it would.

Josh sighed, he probably was also tired too but I know him well, he doesn't take no for an answer sometimes. "Oli, I just wanted to make sure you ate, you know I care about you a lot." His tone of voice was soft and caring as he told me. Oh so that's why. But why late instead of being early? I know he does care about me all the time but sometimes I just don't like the look of my own body whenever I face a mirror, I always rip my gaze away whenever I see my own naked body in the reflections of my own eyes to it. It disgusted me to look at. I always told myself that I'll never get to that level of what type of body I wanted, unless I do something.

God, up until now I'm still a fucked up aren't I? Yeah, I don't see much of a change from myself through the years.

It's why I don't even eat dinner. Only. I refused so much to eat lunch and breakfast back in the past, but when Josh came he made me do it. And I hated myself for giving in so easily. I'm so pathetic. When he insisted me to eat and tried breakdown my boundaries, I ate like a pig, like someone who haven't eaten in a million years and still manage to live even without drinking water and all of those you can name of. But still, he only just did that for me anyway, it's a sign that he does care. I wonder what he thinks of it.

And I'm pretty sure he's going to do it again this time, making me eat dinner.

It's not like it's weird though, eating dinner is obviously normal.

But eating dinner close to midnight is not what I'm expecting of him to even suggest.

I sighed on the line, I tried not to be too obvious but I just don't really care anyway, he'll just see right through it as always. "Fine, you got me." I said in defeat.

"I'm coming right over alright?" Josh said, making sure I got the point. I just agreed to what he said and not a minute later he got off on the line on instant.

I put down my phone on the small table beside my bed and stood up, even though Josh is the only one who is coming over and it's pretty late I still made sure that I still look clean and simple, I'm just one of those people who like to prefer clean surroundings, let alone people who have OCDs.

After I fixed my composure- andstill wearing the same clothes- I took my phone and made my way downstairs, I opened the lights to the dining area and left the lights in the living room off. I always prefer to keep all the lights off whenever I manage to go to sleep always, it's nothing new, it's just pretty normal just in case you would know.

I went over to the island from my kitchen and pulled out a chair and sat flat from it. I checked my phone to see if I got any new messages or anything, and pretty much not I guess.

Well, obviously I wouldn't be getting anything from it because it's almost quarter to midnight though. Unless, if some of my mates were out drinking or partying anyway.

Sigh, I just shook the thought of it and proceeded to wait Josh.

See, this is what I hated whenever we live distantly. We always had a hard time waiting each other and sometimes one of us would even think that we got kidnapped or something. I just really wish I could have asked him right away from it anyway.

I just always thought of him in disbelief as to how he can still keep up with my bullshit for so many years and still prefer to love me and chose me out of all the people in the world.

I guess I'm just pretty lucky I have him, and I think at the other hand, he probably wasn't, he probably can't keep up with me and tortured himself from loving me, as I thought.

But seriously, I don't deserve him. I do love him, I really do, but I just couldn't help but think that he rather have someone who's not a fucked up like me, someone who's caring and probably greater than me, rather than throwing a bunch of bullshit right through his beautiful face like that.

I palmed my face and groaned.

I sighed shakily. I'm just making myself miserable again. I couldn't help it. But honestly all the things that I have said are actually true,  _I am a fucked up, no matter what I do or even say._

Sigh, I just wish I could reset everything.

And then I heard a knock from my door.

Finally, he's here now.

I placed my phone on the table and stood up to open the door. Once I did, obviously I wasn't surprised that it was him then.

"Hey." he greeted, also a smile coming up from his face too. He wore pretty casual even late at night, which I find mildly humorous to say the least. Were just as the same, probably why we ended up being together.

"Hey." I said the same thing back to him with a tired smile, but he kind of understood it already as to why. Y'know, Josh knows sometimes.

I also noticed that he was holding a paper bag below him, which caught my attention. I felt ashamed that he had to actually buy food for me just to make me eat dinner.

But he doesn't have to. Please Josh, you don't have to do so much things just for me.

Josh must have sensed that I was looking at the paper bag and as he was supposed to protest I cut him off first and foremost.

"Josh, you don't really have to buy those." I sighed, "I could've given you my own money instead-" he cut me off by kissing me, it caught me completely off-guard to be honest. He placed his free hand on my back waist and pulled me a little closer to him, I didn't protest and let him be. But though we ended up pulling away anyway.

And as we did, I looked at his face and saw that he was smirking, and said casually "Just let me." with a shrug right after.

I sighed but at the same time I playfully rolled my eyes with a smile. He always do that to let me give him my consideration, and it always gets me so many times.

I didn't even argued back as I took a step back for him to enter, "Fine." said I.

He gave out a small chuckle as he stepped inside and removed his leather jacket. "But please Josh, next time it has to be me." I added for him to know.

He sighed, I for some reason was thinking that maybe he's also tired dealing with me dealing with his too much of a kindness to me though, I'm probably getting too cynical to everything he does so maybe I should lay off a bit.

"Oli..." He started, but he trailed off after. I slowly closed the door and both of my hands went behind my back, leaning onto the wooden frame. He turn and to look at me and my eyes went to his. I could sense that he's going to try to protest again.

"I know." I said, finishing him off and ending the mild argument. I don't want things to get down into an argument this late at night, its better if you end things that are completely unnecessary. Josh's gazed looked down on the floor but instantly went back to look at mine, "Alright then." and just like nothing he shrugged it off and went off to my kitchen.

I think it  _is_ better to end this argument for now.

I followed suit, and went inside were both my kitchen and dining room are located. It was when I went inside, he was now already in the middle of making my salad. I was a little taken aback to be honest.

He never told me he could make salad this fast. He usually starts off things slow so there might be something. Right before my eyes was him fast-pacing everything not more than 8 seconds approximately.

Usually, Josh would act pretty fast when he work important things that are needed and would stay in his own set of pace when he does things he wants. Except when it comes to deadlines.

Huh, not more than a year this month and I can translate his movements now. I'm actually proud of myself for realizing it.

I gave out a small smile and leaned of the doorway of my kitchen and dining room, arms also crossed.

But really, he's fast at making it right now and my soft side came in noticed. I'm not exactly sure why but seeing him work something for me is kind of pleasing to look. So I ended up dazing off a moment and I was stuck to it what I thought was seconds at the process while looking at him.

But it ended up being in more than minutes then right after Josh called out on me and caught me dazing at him.

I immediately shook myself off of my dazed and when my eyes caught up to him I caught him smirking.

Oh, how many minutes was I exactly starring at him? It must have been awkward.

"Like what you see?" He let out a chuckle of air and I smiled a little, my eyes rolling at his response. I teased him with a small response instead.

With my arms crossed and still leaning against the side of the kitchen entrance, I turned my head to a different angle and my eyes slowly lingered at him, biting my bottom lip.

"Maybe..." I mildly teased him, a smile came after the words softly left my lips.

Right after I did, the smug look on his face a while ago dropped and was replaced with an impressed one instead. Why would he look at me in that way anyway? He thinks I've never teased someone before? God, he's so ignorant!

I was so consumed at my own thoughts that I didn't knew he was walking slowly towards me in the corner of my eye, as I was again, distracted by my own mind. I now stood properly as he approached me with his eyes lingering my whole figure. Just by the action of it, it gives unexpected goosebumps through my spine, causing me to let out a huff of nervousness.

As he was now standing in front of me-a few inches away but still close enough- he held out his hand to me and I took it without a doubt. He gently took me to the island where I usually eat with my food and he curtly pulled out the chair for me to sit. Wow, what a gentleman he is.

And as he did, I sit on it. My hazel eyes followed him when he went over to the cabinets and took out a bottle of- wine? After he did, he went over to our table and placed it gently on the surface, then he pulled out the other chair and sat on it, face to face with me.

"Well?" he asked, noticing I wasn't moving an inch and I was slightly embarrassed about it.

I blinked my eyes and once again snapped out of my unnecessary trance and now faced at him properly. I coughed after.

I mumbled a small apology which I thought he wouldn't hear but instead he did, and not right after he said an 'it's alright' softly one. It made me tingled a bit by hearing him say that.

I don't know why.

Anyway, I looked down at my plate and guess what, Joshua James Alphonse Franceschi just served me-

A bunch of fruits. Tiny fruits. Like strawberries, grapes and a bunch of that.

And beside it also come with a small bowl with a small portion of a- salad.

My eyes slowly turned up to look at him with a look of a 'really?'

And as Josh sensed what my face looks like he bursts out a bunch of giggles and I rolled my eyes at him playfully.

Sighing, I took the fork and mumbled "Josh, are you really serious about this?" to be honest, I'm not even sure if this is even a joke he's pulling out on me or if he's really being serious about it.

His giggling mess faded out pretty fast and he gave me a smirk, his eyes sparkling with something I couldn't put a finger to it.

Then suddenly like a change of atmosphere, his faced turned something close to dark. The aura around me was suddenly tensed that I didn't knew it was even possible to be able to.

My heart- unexpectedly started to beat pretty fast as I felt sudden nervousness creeping inside my whole body. I starred at his eyes.

The look of it, I know what it means, he's being  _impatient_  with me. And I'm not entirely sure why.

As I was about to open my mouth he cut me off quickly.

" _Eat, Oli._ "

His voice. It was low and raspy, it's so  _demanding._ I think there's something more than that.

His eyes, its captivating me.  _Luring_  me to do what he says-  _wants_.

I gulped. I felt my whole body suddenly moving on its own as my eyelids fluttered at him and the fork on my hand moves to stab the visible fruit I can see.

 _I know what he wanted,_ I softly thought.

I do know now.

He  _waited_ , I can't believe he waited for so long in those years with me ever since I gave him my sentenced consent to him, that I said to wait for me to actually give him my complete consent. And he literally  _waited, for 5 fucking years._

My boyfriend, actually waited for my answer in those 5 years of our relationship and I didn't knew he did until I did realized now.

He's so loyal. I can't believe him.

_God, I really don't deserve him._

When the realization struck me like a lightning, the weight and nervousness left my body and it responses to the thought with something else. And that something else would be named as  _complete obedience._

I don't deserve him, but his patience does. And he deserve to get what he waited  _for 5 years._

I'm not going straight forward to it, I'll wait for him to  _snap_  while I teased him with myself  _eating the food_  in front of  _him_.

All I did the whole hour was eat the fruits slowly, licking them _, nipping them, juicing them._ I also fluttered my eyes at times and the way I also drank the wine I can see at the very corner of my eye he  _gritted_  his teeth and remained at his seat like the  _obedient and loyal boyfriend he is._

The stares he gave, and the look of his eyes that are filled with dark and  _deep lust_ that lingered through my very soul- didn't knew it would leave an impact on me, it made me very  _hard_ and I crave him  _so much._

_I never knew I wanted him so badly for so long._

As I was almost finish eating my food I couldn't help but move my freehand on my lap below the table move slowly and palmed my hard-on that I want to touch  _so badly._ And the fact that my  _hot and demanding_ boyfriend was still staring at me with no idea what I was doing made it all the more  _hotter and intense._

I bit my bottom lip and tried to muffle my soft moan so my dear boyfriend won't hear it. I kept eating slowly, but I wasn't paying attention to my eating not Josh too whereas I'm now paying my full attention to the dent in my pants as I started to rub it  _slowly and firmly_.

My mind was fantasizing a lot of things about this situation, a lot of  _what ifs_  and  _what happens_ are ramming in my brain right now as I fluttered my eyes close, still eating the last remaining particles of food left at my plate.

But then a sudden thought came in my mind;  _what if Josh finds out I'm craving him?_

The thought itself made a lightning struck of pleasure dance through my spine and onto my pants that made my hand clutch to it tightly and my eyes widen like dinner plates.

Suddenly the fork that was supposed to be placed at my mouth was now stuck between my gritted teeth hanging as my other hand that used to hold the fork was now desperately trying to clutch and rub intensely at my boner.

I was so desperate to be touched that I didn't knew I heard Josh  _growled_  and as fast as light I didn't knew I was now  _pinned_  at the table harshly. Both my wrist was pinned down at the side of my head pretty rough and harsh that I feel like I'd get bruises tomorrow, while my body was pinned by my  _boyfriend's_.

I didn't knew the fork was still between my mouths.

My teeth parted each other as the fork slid down from my teeth and ungracefully fell down to the table below me, creating a very loud and unpleasant sound.

But both of us didn't care.

I was breathing heavily and I licked my lips seductively. The words that left my desperate lips was the final trigger to his breaking point to  _take me whole entirely._

_"Eat me as much as you needed."_


	3. Subdominant.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The closes one of being the most longest thing I've ever right hahaha. Under 8168 words. There's a small hint of plot and a very huge gap of filling for it so I guess its pretty open. Still, Josh 3rd Person Majority everyone *confettiss*.
> 
> Oh btw pure smut. But some parts are cut of for you to decide. Implied kinda rough sex and first time submission, and that means his virginity is being taken. Mild dubious at first plus implied crying.

 

_"We did it!" Exclaimed the one and only pure-heart leader with his fist up in the air. Everyone, all his recruits and soldiers, cried and claimed victory._

_Ah yes. Oliver Sykes, yes, that's his name alright._

Oli- as he said he'd rather be called as- was relentless, ravenous, and dominant and probably one of the most respected and best soldiers ever Sir Franceschi ever thought of hiring.

He was very,  _very_  special. Anyone would be blessed to have a soldier like him. Everyone would be praising him endlessly from time to time.

Josh- the entire owner of the company- overall was extremely proud of Oliver, he saw the lad was pretty much great at doing his work all the time, he did all things perfectly and unbelievably also no mistakes, it was impossible of him, really. From all the former soldiers he hired that have been mostly died for a long time, he'd never expected one- not even a single- to be this great.

The way Sykes handle every single thing and manages everyone on his team are just flawless, his orders and planning are impressive and his performances are just predictably good and accurate. It feels like he doesn't seem to be real. He's like an outburst of sudden hope and fate somehow.

The captain knew that for so long. He knew Oliver from the start.

He was lucky, and I mean  _very_  lucky to have Oli join in the crew ever since, he knew he was really needed from the secretive company he runs. Or what Josh would informally call it, a secret Mafia group.

Ah yes. He  _still_  doesn't like the sound of that.

Sigh, here we go again. The thought still goes in circles but...

Josh doesn't want to admit it; he does admire his father's secretive company service but the development and the organization this company has planned and served for so many years was an obvious act of a basic group of Mafias. Josh doesn't care- that's the good thing- but the fact that calling this a secretive company doesn't sound like it, not even other adjectives can describe this other than what he thought of earlier.

He also remember his father scolding him that he should never mention the word 'Mafia', the thought alone just made him question about it, it's just plain stupid for him.

So much for looking up at the former owner back in the past, it's kind of great to know that he finally owns the diamond gold his father once owned before.

Although, even though everything's good it doesn't seem to spark anything that much for him, his motivation has been downgrading repeatedly each and every day after months of his first day being the owner of this company.

Everyday feels the same, it doesn't help him that much. Josh is Josh, he doesn't like doing things that he doesn't get spark to something. Sure there are times that he does get interest in one of his missions. But still, nothing new changes.

He was expecting so much from this job, and then saddly this is what he gets.

But just when the time he turned age 28, he didn't knew he'd get a new recruit this time of the year. That year for him has been hell and he's been praying a lot for a change. Still, he'd wish for a miracle.

And that's where the time comes where his boredom turned to stone and melted. It's the day he met Oliver.

Back in the past, Josh knew what acts and orders he would give Oli back in the day and would always tell him off to do what he needs to finish. He already mentally planned everything he'll give him with the orders and commands he always gives off to a newbie, he never expected him at first.

The way the captain acts to the newbie was pretty much how you see a lot from the movies but still, Joshua needs to keep intact, he needed to show him how much of a dominant person he could be and where he could get actual motivation from.

But the more he does and gives, the more everything gets interesting. And when the first time Oliver gave him his first feedback from the captain was the actual part where he gained interest in him.

He obeyed immediately. His actions are stiff and serious and unbelievably looks professional.  _For the first time._

Unlike any kind of newbie he met at first impression, he doesn't seem too invested in them like the usual, but him. Franceschi allready knew this new recruit would be different.

But to be honest, he was already pretty much interested in him before he knew his name. He saw the lad from afar and you couldn't find a similar face like that. His face shape and its entirety is very uncommon to find in this place of his. His eyes immediately saw him when he first entered the company, and he couldn't help but stare at him in his visible vision until he was gone.

He was too different to just look away. And out of all the places he couldn't help but think why he'd rather take this job of his?

Josh knew what he felt, and it wasn't good. It's not even necessary to feel this way. He was done with that for a long time ago. Still, the only feeling he can only expose is interest and seriousness, no other left.

Yet again, Sykes wasn't like any kind of soldier he met, he's not a complete wimp or any kind of newbie you would meet at first, Oli wasn't like that.

Just like any kind of soldier he hires for back then, he may look like a newbie to anyone at first but still his pride and responses was something to look forward to. And what makes him more interesting is his unbreakable dominance as Josh observed, his pride of fighting and solid protection over his recruits and team mates was something he rarely ever seen, some rumors around here even say he also kills people physiologically than physically without ever knowing.

He was pretty interesting to say the least.

Overall Josh is really lucky to have an independent soldier who used to be such a hassle to get sued to at the beginning and was now one of the most praised and highest ranking soldiers ever in the eyes of so many people he knew. And Franceschi isn't going to waste such value to his company.

Even though Oliver may be one of the most highest in ranking, no one would compare their head captain entirely.

_I mean for fuck's sake, who would top the owner and origin anyway? No one. Period._

Of course we wouldn't forget Josh  _do we?_

Joshua Franceschi, unbelievably one of the most highly respected captains and obviously the head owner of his father's company all over the world, is also one of the people who are secretly dangerous to deal with, unbeknownst over any charts of being secretly dominant to fight with.

He fought his entire life. His father's motivation given to him was something he looked up to when he was a kid but now he knew how to handle it the hard and accurate way that he learned a long time ago. No man never knew his secret, he kept it hidden for so long that not a single word from that source was ever spoken from the man himself.

He may look attractive to anyone but his personality is very complicated to understand, but the longer you get to know more about him you'll understand him completely  _if and only if_  he trusts you.

In conclusion, you can't fuck with Franceschi. You just  _can't_.

Not unless he's pretty much interested in you. He doesn't bother too much with the people he hired for. Except for standards and relevance, that's pretty important. And when he does, he's rather have them and place them in new working positions as he desires to. Sometimes, they don't come in groups because that's the rule in doing so.

Everything and also considering the mechanics in his company is just plain complicated to understand but the only basic thing to know about it is that you have to strictly follow orders from the leaders and heads, once you didn't you will be blackmailed and would be punished too.

If exceeding from the limit, you'll be fired. In a very displeasing way.

That's only the most basic thing to know, the others are pretty much hard to understand. Thus, they should still follow the rules overall.

Going back, Josh was mostly known for being everyone's ideal type. It's pretty ridiculous to him in all honesty.

Be it a partner, friend, kin or even a  _boyfriend_. Whenever he was around exposed to the public or more likely his crew- the clamoring and chatters around the room where he's surrounded at would go to a minimum since all their attention would go to their head leader.

Everyone are so interested to know the captain they couldn't even have their mouth shut up completely.

Surprisingly even Oliver would shut up and stare at Franceschi.

Josh, isn't the one to be oblivious but if someone interesting happens to stir his attention he'll more likely turn to solid observant to this person. He'll observe majority of this person's performance, emotions and facial expressions. It's scary to think considering you're under the eyes of a dangerous man who can kill you with his bare hands and strangle you to death, but in reality he's pretty much not what you least expected, he's more forward to being invested in someone's life and interest.

And who might that be as of now?

Well obviously, it's Oliver for God's sake.

Josh observed Oli for almost the young lad's first sign up into the department, nothing much was happening to the kid and all but after a few years the captain was  _shockingly_  developing feelings for this kid.

He himself was also shocked when he realized it one day.

Maybe somehow because of the way Oli obeys his commands and orders and does them on time was a huge spark to him, the way he responses to his questions and his sudden small affection to the head leader was something he wanted to get. Oliver was really respectful to Josh and would sometimes stutter unintentionally, it was really something to him.

He wish he'd do the same affection for the kid. But thinking about it-

_He never had any serious feelings for someone._

Josh wasn't the one you'd expect to handle love in the ways you always dreamed of. It's more of his way. And his method would also be complicated to understand.

Regardless to say the least, the only thing he remembered being loved by someone was his mother, that's where he knew how to love properly  _before_. His father though, he's a neglectful person, yet young and innocent Josh still look up to him and kept wonderment for countless times until he hit adolescence. The old memory has been in ruins for so long, still he kept it in his mind.

He hooked up with tons of females and males and they we're all one-night stands. Nothing special really sparked to him to these people except for heated lust and solid desire. He even paid them for it. Infuriatingly, he wasn't entirely satisfied. But the tricks and kinks they showed to him after all the years was pretty useful for him, and unbelievably he was already an expert to it after years of knowing.

He knew what love was, and he knew how to control it.

The only thing he just wishes is that he could gain courage in telling it of to anyone.

But when it come to the kid, well, his feelings are complicated for him.

Though he wasn't really sure why he'd chose to have feelings for the kid of all the people. Sure he may be different but he never knew he'd have feelings to him, and would stick to him most of the time. But considering- he did realized and observed something from him before, and he's pretty sure he almost forgotten some of it but he did remember the important ones.

He remember the way Oliver looks at him whenever he's exposed to the public, Josh only ever thought of Oli was just full of pride and ego but still a person who would care. Still, he's sure that's not all the lad was hiding.

Just like him, both of them are hiding feelings. But Josh shook the thought of it, sometimes he can't even trust his predictions just by observing someone. It can also be pretty dangerous to act after thinking.

But from the thought of it, Josh was sure and unsure at the same time.

Yet he kept observing him every day, every month. And since he gotten that far he can finally conclude that Oliver does has feelings for him.

But what could be pretty interesting about him that sparked Josh so differently? 

 

 

 

_Snrk._

He smirked. Eyes half-lidded, dark and blunt.

 _Of course_   _he knows._

This wasn't new to him. But he does miss the thought of having  _sex_  for a long time. But when was the last time he did?

God, He couldn't even  _remember_.

Actually, there was  _so many good_  traits to this lad and he could form a list about it and write down endlessly.

And I mean,  _hell to earth._

It's up to you to list all the things that you could think of about him.

But the only exception is; Josh just wishes the lad doesn't have enough  _dominance_  when it's the two of them  _only._

_Because nobody beats Franceschi to that._   
  


Right now, the mission that Josh has been wanting to finish for a long time has finally come to an end.

This mission to be specific is related to this killer who have almost killed him off when he was at vacation. He had been  _wanting_ to kill this bastard for a long time and hasn't been detected for also a very long time, in prior for 5 years straight.

They've searched for this killer all over the world, hacking cameras in different countries, hacking accounts that has the same name of the killer, faking IDs for finding this person outside the building etc. They've done  _everything_ they can. Despite all of it, they continued on even if it pends for a long time.

The situation itself may seem unnecessary to you but this, this is something that makes Josh rage with  _fury_.

And when that one day everyone knew that the killer they've been finding has been killed, they were surprised. Literally.

Eventually nobody has been informed about it that time because they're still tracking down this person and when suddenly a recruit from one of Oliver's team went to report this to Franceschi out of the blue, he was wide-eyed.

He found out that Oliver spied and tracked down the killer  _himself. One on one._

Josh demanded an explanation to the one who reported and said that Oli has vowed to track down this person nonstop and it was also the reason why he was suddenly hiatus on the job. He also said that they shouldn't tell Franceschi about it not until the killer is dead and would strictly follow the instructions Oliver said to his team. They've killed off many of this killer's guards and trackers and successfully killed all of them, in which Oliver came on time to finish his vow and sentence.

When he was finished listening to this recruit's report, he was  _staggered_.

 _He knew Oli._ That's what he thought, yet for the fact as of now he didn't even  _expect_  for the lad to go that far.

Let alone do this  _himself._

Josh was mostly speechless when he heard all of it. It was officially done and stated.

Having feelings for someone is really hard to understand and give in to adjust.  _But this. All of a sudden without adjustment_ -

_It's replacing with something else._

He may look at Oliver the same way he might feel for him but too much appreciation is something Josh would take it in a different way.  _Mostly when this person has feeling for him, and also himself to the other._

Even though he may be proud and astonished for doing for him and the crew, he  _broke the rule_. He should make instructions to his crew without Josh's signal or permission for a valid reason.

And yet for the first time in forever, Oli impossibly made a  _mistake_.

And you know what you get for a mistake? A  _punishment._

But this isn't any ordinary punishment.

He'll take what he have always wanted from him for a long time.

Because right now, not only that what he feels. He felt a sting inside him of  _burning lust_.

He smirked.

 _I'll be smooth._ He thought, he already have a plan going on in his mind and now he'll do it later at night.

Josh went back to his fake façade and told off the recruit to tell Oliver to meet him at quarter to ten in the evening.

The recruit was taken aback but dismissed it immediately as he went off to send his message to Oli.

_He can't wait._   
  
  
  
  
  


He waited.

The longer hand in the clock is getting closer to quarter and yet he remained patient. He still got time to think about what he'll do.

Leaking the idea would be a downgrading thing at first hand but he'll lay it off first with him.

This day. If it will really work, he'll give him a proposal for a different position in his work under his hands, even in his future tasks and plans. It's impossible for the lad to dispose the idea and object it, he himself might be close-minded but still he can manipulate his way for an answer.

Because in his side, he  _never_ takes no for an answer.

_Knock knock._

_That might be him._ Josh thought, he stood up from his chair and went over to his door- his  _bedroom_  door.

He took a hold of the doorknob and turned it, opening it. And behind it stood there the person he had been waiting since six.

Oli looked good. He wore normal clothes, a dark grey V-neck shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. In this case, if all tasks has been finished at seven in the evening you can go back in your dorm and can do whatever you want unless it doesn't include going against the B-sided rules. And also you can wear any clothing as you want, unless if it is very inappropriate.

So this is the first time Josh saw Oli wore anything except for the uniform.

Because his eyes are raking down his appearance immensely after a split second opening the door. Yet he came back to earth.

"You came." Josh said, making Oli nod in response. "Is there something you wanted to talk about, Sir?" Oliver asked in a serious tone, funny how Josh didn't expect Oli to be also be serious even though after work hours he still remained the same person as he is.

He isn't going to take any bullshit from that.

Remember, he'll take it  _smooth._

The older of the two chuckled, taking Oli aback.

"Drop the act Oliver, you don't really have to be serious about this." Josh brushed him off when he took a step back for Oli to enter. And when he did he came inside.

The captain took a moment to look at Oliver's face before closing the door. He smirked, the look on the lad's face that hit him realization that he was inside Josh's bedroom was very flattering to see, the younger of the two tried to act like it wasn't a big deal but his anxiety and nervousness betrays him otherwise, causing him to go neutral, distracted in his emotions.

Unbeknownst, Josh  _locked_  the door.

When he turned around to give his full attention to Oli he was also facing in his direction, wide-eyed with a struck of the still-there realization in his face. His demeanor before have changed on instant. His other hand was also grabbing a hold of his other arm.

The seriousness on his face fell and was replaced with mild wariness. Behind it still sparked trusts in his eyes.

Josh was relieved to that.

He might have thought that Sykes must have heard the lock because of the sudden change his demeanor made. But there's still no tension going on.

 _For someone so malicious and dominant, I've never thought he could be this oblivious._ Josh thought.

Josh walked up to other slowly, his hands are buried on his vest's pockets, and stoop his head for a second when he reached him a few inches away from the lad.

When he looked down on him, Josh's eyes are filled with longing and desire, and Oli stood there looking up at him with curious eyes mixed with his feelings for the older man.

_Would he even understand?_

Josh questioned himself mentally, there's a possible chance that he could predict wrong but it has been years since he observed him. It's been so many years since he did so. All the observation he did was off in good use and was proved to be all right so this chance would be possible.

But he can't quite help but get anxious about the outcome to this. If it did work then he'd pray that it will still be the same answer he'll get from him straightforward.

As Josh was about to open his mouth he was cut off first by the man in front of him with a quiet mumble, "Is there something you want to tell me sir?" he repeated the question earlier but in a different take.

Oli stoop his head down, hiding his flush.

He froze _._

Not a minute or so on the moment between them and he already knew what the outcome of this situation will be.

He made a very intriguing prediction; is Oliver a  _submissive_?

Josh shook off the thought and remained focus on the situation, he'll think of that later.

Because if he continued to finish that thought he might not know what he'll do after.

He finally talked but his question was a sudden to the other man, his voice uncharacteristically soft, "I've been wanting to ask you this for a  _long_  time, Oliver," the older of the two emphasizes.

Oli gulped.

Josh should have been intensely concerned and questioned first about Oliver's sudden change of demeanor and actions before but he couldn't care less about it now.

He'll  _take care_  of that later.

Nonetheless, he let the words flow out of his mouth without a second thought.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

He only stared.

How many seconds have passed? ten? twenty-seven? or maybe minutes? what happened?

Josh decided to wait for his answer, yet he turned his head to the side to keep his sudden nervousness in control.

He can't look at him.  _He just can't._  
  


_Hic._

Josh snapped his head to the man in front of him and saw that he was quietly sobbing. He was  _sobbing._

_He'd never in his entire life saw Sykes show any raw emotion._

"S-sir, I'm s-so sorry...." Oliver apologized while stuttering, causing one of Josh's eyebrow to raise. His head was titled low as he trembled slightly from his small outburst.

His eyes went soft. As much as Josh has to punish Oliver for this, he shamelessly cared about him. He might be harsh on him sometimes but it was for his own good not for himself.

But yet, sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands. Sometimes you just want to take everything you wanted and no patience can cure that for him.

He couldn't stand to see him in this state. Not at all.

And so what he did next was something he'll never forget he ever done in his entire life.

Josh kissed him.

Both his arms wrapped around his waist and gripped him tightly. It took seconds for Oli to realize what was happening and later on he wrapped around his arms his neck gently as possible. Josh's grip on Oliver was a little bit hard unlike his was softly wrapped around to the other.

Both of them are helplessly desperate. How long have they been dancing around each other's back? They couldn't care less anyway.

Yet the kiss was long, and it was filled with pure longing and desperation.

Josh felt the younger one's tears on his face as it continuously falls.

He couldn't believe this.

The feeling of the boy's lips on his for the first time are stunningly  _perfect_. The pair of lips that are attached on his are soft,  _very_  soft. The thought of having his way to him with these pair of lips are something he really couldn't wait.

God, fuck he never knew he'd tasted so heavenly. Fucking indescribable.

_Why the fuck did he have to wait for this moment for something so unnecessary where he could done and talked it out of him and took him for so long._

He have to admit, he's sometimes a dumbfuck. For now.

Oli was the one to pull out first.

Josh followed suit while his hands traveled up to grip a hold both of the younger one's shoulders.

His mind was at a state of daze and let his head swiftly fall down on Oliver's left shoulder, breathing heavily.

_Oli at the other hand has both of his hands on his mouth. His tears must have gone dry but now he couldn't control the flush he was having on his pale face._

_He's going to admit it, He'd never thought his dominant act would break from such a situation. It's been so long since he'd exposed his true self to anyone. Let alone Josh._

_Yet, he'll know later._   
  


Franceschi could't take it.

His mind was everywhere, elsewhere and the only thing that was making him sane was the plan he had to finish.

But his feelings are somewhat distracting him.

Sigh. He'll take care of it later on like the rest.

He already thought of a move he could get to lure Oliver and right now he got the opportunity right away.

He couldn't wait any longer.  _He just---_

"Sir?"

Josh's eyes snapped on Oli's direction. He already saw the opportunity, his hair was on the way on his hair. Obviously he was trying to hide his eyes from him.

He couldn't help but chuckle mentally, he wouldn't care what people think but he remembered a year ago he heard once but a possibility more than that is he heard Oliver said to one of his recruits that he wanted a haircut for so long. One where it shaped more of his head instead but he wasn't so sure about it.

He was so  _so_   _desperate_  to have one that he'd rather have himself cut it, but he was anxious on doing so. So instead he let it be.

When Josh heard this before, he thought that it was the necessary opportunity to make Sykes think that it was relevant to talk to him in midnight.

And what would be the alternative reason for meeting him at midnight?

_Well, he'd rather talk to him more privately without people interrupting them instead._

At least it was reasonable.

He took Oliver's hand and dragged him through the room to a mirror, he told Oli to stay there and he understood as he always do. He took the nearest chair he got in the room and placed it behind the young brunette, he told him to sit down and he did so. In which Oliver looked at the mirror while Josh took something on the drawers.

The older took out a pair of stainless steel scissors and a hair comb that has very thin teeth.

"I heard that you wanted a haircut for so long?" Josh taunted Oliver a little and it got the younger one's attention.

Oliver's eyes went wide when he saw the materials he was holding, it was already indented on his mind was he was about to do. He was so clueless on what to say ye he still spoke.

"I-I.... I d-didn't--" Josh cut him off.

"I know, I've heard it from you so many times before." It was true though, Oliver stating how he wanted a hair cut so much  _is_  a fact, he had talked about it so much. The brunette hid his flush when he turned his head away from looking at him, he tried not to make it obvious but it failed.

Josh chuckled at him, which caused Oliver to hid his face more.

"W-well yes, um... y-you can cut my hair the way you want, S-sir." Oli stuttered. His head stoop low his direction on the ground.

Josh bit his lip for a moment and glanced back at the younger one. The thought of he himself will be the one who'll cut Sykes hair the way  _he_  wanted would be a pleasuring experience he'll have for the first time in forever. And witnessing his reaction would be a warm feeling for him to see.

His eyes widen suddenly. An unexpected shiver on his spine cause him to suck in a breath.

And after that, would his new appearance trigger him to take him on immediately?

_I mean fuck, imagine if you fuck him in a new hairstyle that would be fucking hot as hell._

Sigh. Such a childish thought. He just couldn't wait. His excitement was bubbling too much to take ahold of it.

As he did so, he told Oliver to close his eyes so it can be a surprise for later.  
  
  


Josh smiled to himself.

"Alright, you can open them." as he said to Oli.

When Oliver opened his eyes, he was really surprised. The hairstyle that Josh gave him was exactly what he actually wanted.

His hair was shaped the same as his head and his bangs was still there, small parts of it were trimmed and is divided in small strands. It makes him so elegantly beautiful, even he himself can say the same.

Oliver stood up from the seat and stared at himself, and touched it. It felt so foreign for him to feel his hair in a different style.

He doesn't know what to say. He was so  _overwhelmed._

_He wanted to kiss Josh so much._

_"_ Well? _"_ Josh asked, his voice was suddenly an octave lower and it was quiet.

The tone of voice alone was the only thing that took Oli off-guard.

And Josh knew that. He deviously smirked.

Behind him, he could feel his dark gaze from him.

When Oli turned to face him he heard the scissors placed on the top of the drawer harshly and it created an unpleasing sound that echoed the whole room.

Josh wrapped his arms entirely on Oli's waist and hips and crashed his lips on his without warning.

The sudden action made him yelped, Josh didn't even gave him time to adjust to what was happening as he shove his tongue inside his mouth on instant.

It caused Oli to moan uncontrollably.

He grabbed Josh hair with his other hand and the other one on his back vest, gripping it like his life depends on it.

They started to make out. They both kept treating each other, Josh was actually accomplishing getting Oli to moan so much that he was asking him for a breather for just a second.

Right after what felt like minutes, the younger brunette was suddenly thrown at his bed face forward.

He looked up from Josh with a terrified expression which made Josh stop in his tracks, he gave a confused expression to the seventeen year old boy beneath him.

What came out of the brunette's mouth was something he'd never expected in his entire life.

_"I'm still a virgin, Sir."_

Josh choked, literally.

He blinked once, twice. And he stared at him with complete shock spread all across his face.

Nonetheless Oliver continued.

"I've  _never_  had sex with anyone in my entire life," he gulped the lump on his throat as he still continued to stare at him.

"Really." he finished, Oli looked at Josh with furrowed eyebrows with his voice in a state of defense. The elder of the two somehow was trying to pick up the pieces of his mind right now.

This triggered him more.

The fact that Oliver is confessing his dignity to Josh was making him realized he was about to do a commitment.

 _He was about to take his virginity._    
  
  
  


It was nothing new to him.

He hoked up with tons of people, yes, but he doesn't want to admit that some of them are also virgins.

It's true, he took majority of the people he hooked up with their virginity.

And right now, shockingly it was something he wanted to differentiate.

He wanted to take it slow first for him.

But nonetheless, it's still nothing new to him.

The only thing is new is that Oliver, out of all the people in the world would be the one to be a virgin,  _the fucking person he expected to be so dominant would be a virgin so suddenly._

He couldn't care less anymore. He wanted him for so long and he's taking him right now.

Josh may be careless, but consent is the first thing he always prioritized when having sex.

Although he still cared, it was Oli for heaven's sake.

"Would like me to be your first?" The words fell out of Josh's mouth so suddenly that he himself was surprised. Oli on the other hand had his eyes widen like dinner plates.

He contemplated, "I-I'm not so sure..."

Josh smiles reassuringly, "Don't worry." he said as he approached him on the bed, he made him sat on the mattress while Josh sat between his legs. Somehow, Oli decided to sit on his lap instead.

His hand slowly went to grab one of the drawers open and pulled out a clear, small bottle of lube. Half an amount was still filled as he placed it on top of the drawer beside the lamp. Oli saw his hands grabbing it, and he knew what those things means. He gave out a mumbled cry and trembled from the thought, he went back to look at his captain.

"Please, be gentle..." Oli whispered as he closed his half-lidded eyes, wrapping his trembling slim arms around the elder's neck as a mild attempt to distract himself from the very thought. Josh just kissed Oli's cheek and jaw in response, thus he didn't gave him an answer.

_Because if he did, he'd be lying if he said yes._   
  
  
  
  
  


"Are you ready?" Josh said as he held both of Oli's hips tightly on top of him, the younger of the two was sitting with his legs wide open and was pressing against Josh's length on his entrance. He nodded, but there still hesitation in his eyes.

Josh repeated his question, "Are you sure, Oliver?" his voice was stained with seriousness in them and was low, it made a sudden shiver down his spine. But still, it was loving nonetheless.

Oli nodded. The hesitation in his eyes faded.

He pressed in slowly, Oli felt the burning sensation when he felt his length ripping him open, the feeling of his virginity being ripped away from him. He gave out a small whine of pain but manage to muffle it half way.

He's going to admit, he's fucking  _huge._

They took a minute to adjust to the feeling and both can feel their pulses on each other, the contact of the pounding was so hard on both of them that it made them groan.

Josh suddenly snapped his hips upward with such force that it caused Oli to yelped loudly, his sudden cry was mixed with pleasure but mostly pain in them. Pint of tears formed in the corners of his eyes, his breathing was rapid.

His lidded eyes went to look at Josh, he recognized his face was hinted with regret from it.

He knew, Josh's patience is very limited. And it's a one time thing to experience in his opinion.

Josh held Oli's hips in place with his hands tightly gripping him that his nails was almost burying inside his skin. The brunette was panting loads of air while his hands traveled up to hold on to Josh's arms gently. When he went to look at his eyes, Josh's blue sapphire ones where dark and filled with burning lust and hunger while he stared at him.

He felt the grip on his hips left and he told him to move.

Oli was confused for a moment, and when he took a second to understand what he just said, he knew he was the one who's going to lead the action.

His eyes went to look at his again. The expressions spread around on him says something.

He was making him prove that he can be dominant in bed, not only as attitude.

And he himself wasn't so sure about it but in hopes that he can.

He hope that his stamina was longer than he has.  
  


" _God Oliver, fucking faster..._ " the older of the two  _growled and demanded._ Josh knew that Oli was trying so hard to prove to him he does. And when he did he wasn't so surprised, he actual tried so many things that he could ever imagine of him doing so, it was really impressive and really  _fucking hot_  at the same time. As he observe him though, he really  _is_  a submissive.

Oli's pace was getting slower and sloppier, it was obvious that he was tired and as he panted, "S-sir, I c-can't m-move th-hhaa.." he was leaking so bad, he hiccuped while he still kept on going even if his legs are getting slightly tired.

Josh quietly growled, he already gave him the chance to prove himself to be dominant than he is.

But now Franceschi just doesn't care, he wanted to fucking rip him  _apart. Make him cry in pain and pleasure._ He wanted to mark him as his  _own_.  _His and his only, no other can touch him like this other than he himself._

_Right now he'll do what he pleased to do for so long._

And on instant, Josh took place and switched their positions.

Oli yelped from the sudden movement and realized he was lying on his back. He felt the gripping on his hips tighten like metallic nails scratching on his skin, the feeling he felt made him wanted to cry in pain but he can't.

As much as he wanted to, he just let him do what he wants.

When he opened his eyes to look at Josh, he tried to read him. His expression was unreadable but the only thing he can read properly was the impossible gluttony he's manifesting, he was  _so much_ in hunger and lust that he was blinded and took control instead.

Oli thought,  _if this is what he wanted then I'll let him take me as much as he desire to._

As much as he wanted his first time to be what he always wanted to be, he'd let him take it. Even though it'll be the death of him.

He loved him anyway, he'd do anything for him.

His eyes soften, half-lidded. The brunette's arms gently wrapped around his neck and slowly brought him down. His own pink lips softly kissed Josh's hungry lips and suddenly he was also making a committing move.

_He gently let his tongue lap and lick at his lips with hidden seduction in it._

He couldn't care as long as his captain was completely satisfied.  
  
  
  
  
  


Josh, finally  _ **snapped.**_

The feeling of his tongue lapping over his lips just made him cross over the line of limit.

He violently thrusts his own tongue inside his, Oli moaned and whined at the feeling of his tongue roaming against his mouth. The brunette beneath him failed to fight for dominance more than once when he suddenly felt Josh's torso pressing against his.

His other arm was placed underneath Oli's left shoulder and his right arm was behind his back, Josh's nails dragged down hard at his bare back harshly causing Oli to break their sloppy kiss, he tilted his head to the other side to gasp for air and suddenly Josh was attacking the pat where his collarbone and neck met, leaving bite marks over it. He cried out.

He was so overwhelmed.

"O-oh god...  _hckk-!"_  Oli choked, Josh's hips suddenly thrust in brutally onto Oli's causing him to knock him out and went limp. His length was buried so deep inside him that it's so hard to breath.

He was panting loads, gasping for air so much as if he manages to stop he'll be dead any minute.

Josh went over to leave a mark on his pulse area between his jaw and neck, he moaned from the sensation he felt and he knew that's where his sweet spot was.

He started abusing it, kissing it, biting it and sucking on it violently nonstop while he thrusts into him with the same violent pace.

Oli squirmed from the overwhelming feeling he was receiving, Josh pushed him down and completely pinned him on the mattress in which he was stuck unmovable and continued on his movements.

"N-n-no pl- _please_ , I-I c - can't..." Oli whined and moaned, Josh was turned on so much from the fact that Oli can't stand having his sweet spot abused was now a kink of his.

He indented the idea in his mental list as a source.

The man beneath him was a trembling and a panting mess, sweat was running down both of their skins and was making their hair stick on their foreheads. The heat of the room was making it hard for them to focus as their heated breaths danced around each other.

Both of them kept on going.  
  
  
  


 

"A-ah!- " Oli cried out, his arms wrapping against him tightly, he found his prostate.

_He finally found it._

Josh huffed, his hands left their previous position and where now gripping both of Oli's thighs and forced them open, Oli flinched slightly from the feeling. He lifted his hips in an inch and angled himself.

He gripped his hips steady.

His pace suddenly change from violent to breaking his hipbones. His movements are fucking ravenous, he was viciously fucking him like no other can as he abused and abused Oli's prostate.

Oli was screaming, in both pleasure and pain as Josh has always wanted. His hands were scratching his chest and the feeling was making his blood rush, adrenaline was swimming in his veins in a rapid speed.

The brunette's moans went to a higher pitch, his voice was starting to hurt his throat and his body was already tired cause from the movements he did before. Right now, he was at the mercy of his hands.

The tears from before that fell has already started to form at the lids of his eyes again from the intense and rapid pleasure he was feeling from him, one already fell from his eyes.

"I-I can't k-keep going m-much lo-nger.... a-Ahh! "Oli cut himself off with a silent scream as he came, white hot mess was spread all over his stomach while he panted rapidly.

Josh was right, his stamina was limited.

_But his was not._   
  


 

"S-sir?!" Oli flinched when he suddenly felt his wrist being held together.

He was  _handcuffed._

His arms are on his back together while he still lied on the same position.

His eyes went back to Josh, confusion dancing in his own eyes.

Josh shushed him. "I'm not done with you yet." he whispered, his voice was heavily filled with lust, there was also a hint of growl behind his voice on it.

Oli gulped and went over his mind for a moment, he wasn't finished yet.

No matter how much his mind wanted to tell him that he couldn't go on much longer something inside him was telling him that he should let him continue.

And as he thought of before, he'll let him kept on going. He'd let him take him as his.

The brunette smiled at him.

"Take me as much as you wanted, Sir.If you ever desired to, I'd give my body for you as your own." his voice was tired and hoarse, but still loving and soft..

He was giving himself to him. He was  _offering himself_  to him.

Josh was waiting for him to say that from the beginning.

_And he can finally claim him as his._   
  
  
  


 

 

"A-ahh! Hn _gkk_ \-- y-you're  _so b-big..._ " Oli quietly moaned, he shivered and squirmed from the feeling of  _overstimulation_.

His tears kept falling from his eyes from the over-pleasure he felt in his lower body part but he didn't care, he was doing this for him after all. He loved him, he offered himself to him.

A small smile formed at his lips and faded away after.

He'd just, he'd never knew his first time would be this violent, but he didn't care, he always wanted his first to be his captain, to be Josh's.

He'd never even thought that this dream would come true.

He closed his eyes.

Even though he already came there was still this boiling part inside him that says he wasn't finished yet.

And that caused him to gasp when it started to boil meticulously slow.

Josh's thrusts where starting to hurt his hips and no doubt he can tell he'll have bruises from them tomorrow. He'd bet that he can't speak properly from so much fucking he has done to him.

Suddenly his head snapped backwards. Josh started abusing his overstimulated prostate again.

Instead of the overstimulated feeling in his body, he felt his body gave him a second chance, but the feeling was still there.

He cried softly. His eyebrows knitted together as his body was betraying him being stuck as weak. His entire body was extremely tired.

Oli started to violently tremble, his entire body was so hot inside in his very core that he was panting nonstop. His eyes were half -lidded and his mouth was shaped as an 'O', his tears became warmer.

Josh recognized this, and he smirked from the sight of it.

"Still going on with it Sykes?" Josh taunted, he gritted his teeth and grunted when he felt the burn from Oli's body transferring to him, the burning sensation was intense and started to spread through his lower region.

"F-fuck..." he growled from the feeling and now he was ramming into him mercilessly, he was now focused on himself, yet Oli was still taking his actions.

"A-ahh...  _a-AAH!-_ " Oli came again, but only a small amount went off from him. His mouth was wide as ever, his eyes went lid again and all the tears that has formed all fell.

Josh was almost at his peak, but when he saw the sight of Oli coming again, he grunted from the sight as he also did. He buried himself deeper inside of him and he continued coming him down from his orgasm. His grip on his hips where painfully harsh, and where already drawing blood from his hips and small marks from it.

Oli gasped and moaned from the feeling of Josh's come filling him, milking him. Made him shiver from the feeling.

Subconsciously he licked his own bruised pink lips, Oh how he wishes to do this again, it was an experience. He felt a small sting when he did so.

He felt the cuffs on both of his wrist being removed and was now thrown carelessly against somewhere.

As he was about to open his eyes, he felt his lips being attached by no other than Josh.

He wrapped his aching arms around him gently. While the other wrapped around his waist and chest, closing the open space between them.

"Th-thank you..." He said in between kisses, he still felt Josh's length inside him, only stayed the same position.

 _I love you,_  Oliver whispered secretly from their kisses. Josh went to kiss his neck, chest, forehead and his cheek and going back his lips again.

Josh might not believe what he's about to say but, he did loved him.

He loved him from the start and how much he cared about him. He never realized it but he really did.

He can't believe it, but he'd accept this as who he was now.

He won't plan on changing his position anymore, no more.

Because he knows.

_He knows._

_"I love you, too."_

 

 

 


	4. An Admiration That'll Fall.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roses. It was always roses. All of it are left by his doorstep, school locker and also in his window frame. He always ask himself about this. In fact sometimes Oli was flattered or really relieved to it. But somehow, if this future lover ever show up he just couldn't help but doubt himself if he can do this.
> 
> And the weird thing too is that no one seems to know who it is. Josh at the other hand was also gone out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodluck tho, btw tw for detailed minor gore ain't gonna spoil anything but yeah. You're gonna fucking bawl your eyes out. Btw Oli's 3rd Person POV. 7809 words.

_Roses. Beautiful red velvet roses lies behind his wooden doorstep._

The young brunette crouch down to his knees, slightly mystified by the same gift he was given every other day. He counted them, they were exactly thirteen, and surprisingly it is his favorite number. The scent was strong, it reminds him back when he used to have a side job at his mother's flower shop, majority are all red roses and some are various types. He loves all of them.

_It’s these again,_ He lightly thought.  


**- flashback -**

 

These roses, they all started off after he auditioned in a theatre play. He was happy that he was accepted to take place a character in the play, along with the rest of the candidates that are accepted as well. Oliver, was more like the person who would be judged first by looks from everyone. His perplex appearance and interest in things what makes him different, he was no ordinary. His tastes in clothes also gave him off, the oversized dark colored jackets he always wore was one of his signature clothing, as his friends has observed from him.

Majority of the school looks at him in the way they do, they look at him so differently. Yet stuck from the fact that they can never have the confidence since he started to change.

Every person here in this building has same the same mindsets, unlike Oli’s. His is different.

Nobody knows what’s inside the head of Oliver Sykes, he seems to always be off-earth, always there to gaze at valley field horizons and fresh candled atmospheres in his yard and school grounds, who knows maybe he also goes to other places than this tormented school. Unfortunately, all these people are majorly ignorant, but have less to care about the world around them.

The people in his school recognized him, they seem to sometimes feel intrigued about him whenever he’s around. It was always the appearance, ever since he did really changed. Back before he was a complete loner and have absolutely no friends. But ever since he gained unknown source of confidence, he manage to stand up from his guard by himself.

Although, these people never bothered to talk to him.

And that’s where he immediately absorbed minor anxiety. No one really cared about him, unless you yourself have to take the leading role, which is hard for him before.

But ever since he did gained for once in that old life he had before, it was in sixth grade that happened. He talked to almost everyone in school, yet even these ignorant people are stupidly intrigued about him yet they still refuse to talk to the younger boy.

It was too unfortunate for him to even think about the old times he used to have this position of his old life. He can never fully understand the mind of faithless figures.

Lucky, after searching and talking to the whole school he did made eight new friends; Hannah Snowdon, Matt Kean, Jordan Fish, Kellin Quinn, Alex Gaskarth, Austin Carlile, and Andy Biersack. He was lucky to have them.

But it took him a long time to gain their attention with him.

The truth is, meeting these people at first hand was difficult at first. They seem off his league, when they all first met him, behind those hazel eyes of his can observe these soulful faces’ expressions and body language, and they seem to have the same first impression about him. The same thing like the ignorant people around him.

But after getting to understand them more to himself, it’s where he gave in to serve them, because for him it’s like they’ve served him in a way where they manage to give him what he wanted; honest attention and honest personality. It was what he wanted from them, no matter how much they feel down he was there for them, no matter what.

Because it was his time to serve them. And he was contented to have these great people in his life.

When the realization hits on each of these people they were struck with emotions that they couldn’t never expected these from him, let alone the person who they thought what they thought of him before. And in the end their second-guesses are wrong, and they’re relieved to find out the truth about him which they’ve never ever expected from him before.

And they’ve stayed, all these people that Oli met have changed their lives just because of him. These people were once ignorant before, they were one of the same crowd that are stuck in the same mindset as them. But somewhere, an unknown faith that gave them chances were the choices they got from having Oli, it was he that changed them ever since they gave in from his proposal to be friends with him no matter what.

No doubt they gave in and embraced it with an open heart. Their eyes are wide open to his story until then. Pure and alive.

And it was also were Oli gathered them in one group, where they all became his new group of friends. It was a blessing absolutely. They all seem so contented. And it was also great that they seem to get along so well then.

They’ve been with him until junior high and never left each other. And although, they did seem to change apart of their lives over the years but they still remained together as they ever did. Oli felt so thankful to have these people, he loved them as much as they do.

He wanted to do so much for them than he did before, but he knows them perfectly well after their revelation. They’ll just turn off the idea. In which Oli doesn’t seem too accepting for it, but ended up accepting it as they wanted to.

Don’t worry, he knows his own limits. If this is what they wanted then no matter what he’ll accept them unless it is something that isn’t good at all.

 

 

An average life in Oli’s perspective doesn’t bother him exactly, he sometimes overthinks about his days in his life and realizes that it seems like it feels like every day feels the same. Sometimes his mindset change each day, like how his doctor told him he has slight bipolar disorder, but as he wishes that everything doesn’t seem so blind in his eyes feeling the same thing over and over.

All his plans and promises seems to end up being thrown away for more than any situation being interrupted to it. He learned to control his outcome and outbursts, he learned to control it so much that he never seem to express any negativity at all, it sometimes comes off as passive as it is no matter what, yet sometimes it is hard to handle but he got used to it over the years of his childhood. And he was thankful for that being.

He’ll appreciate himself one day, if only he couldn’t just let melancholy take over his emotions too much.

Where are also the reasons why he can just never imagine himself loving someone ever again in his current state and condition, he never wanted to hurt anyone in his entire life. Like a vow he would promise to do until his death lead him somewhere around the earth.

Because if he does, he’ll ended up having them at the edge of their death sentence.

He gave out a small melancholic smile at the thought.

It has been years since he remembered her ever since.

 

 

Oli remembered back then, he used to have a girlfriend. Her name was Mia, a loving and kind girlfriend he ever met in his entire life back in eighth grade. They’ve become together ever since, his friends accepted her as his girlfriend too and were happy for him. They’ve shared so much to each other with their secrets, memories, and interest but the thing is, they’ve never kissed before.

Their relationship at the eyes of the others are very spiteful in their own ignorant mind, but he didn’t care at all.  

He just cared what he has right now, and he has to cherish it until he can still hold on.

 

It’s just until one day they slowly started to fall apart for unknown reason, he recognized this and instantly thought about confronting her about this, he loved her and he doesn’t want her to go, he learned so much from this girl he met and was thankful that he learned to be as passive as he ever been, he learned to properly control his emotions and feelings, and also what to do when having a breakdown.

But when he reached her home, it was when his face started to slowly drain out of blood. There were tons of people surrounding her home and an ambulance by the side of the place. He started to get completely anxious from the thought, his hear beating very fast from the distressing situation happening in front of him right now.

 He bolted on instant, and what he saw was what torn his heart into countless tiny pieces.

His whole face went pale when he laid eyes on Mia’s lifeless body, the color of her body was as white as his own and his eyes caught his attention immediately on her wrist. Her wrist was painted with a deep red cut and was already left empty with all her blood out her own body. The color from the gash was fading from the past hours that happened.

 Her Beautiful green eyes were closed, the expression left to it makes her looks so peaceful that he doesn’t seem to bother to think of it too much. But as he realizes this, he was fully in a state of shock and solid apathy. He can’t feel anything but the ringing and numbness he felt around his weak body of his.

The beautiful girl he knew ever since the start of eight grade was dead in her deathbed, her body as lifeless as he can ever think of.

 

She decided to leave everything behind, she left him and everyone and decided to fall down.

No words left his trembling mouth, but his mind wanted to say something to her, _that he loved her so much. But he was so late._

_It was all his fault._

 

A hand was placed on his own shoulder, and he slowly turn around to meet Mia’s mother. He knows her as much as he knows his own girlfriend, which is now his ex-girlfriend. Her face was full of tears and he guesses she might have been crying for hours, ever since she founded Mia’s body. He can’t say anything but instead hugged and comforted her, and that’s where she broke down again, with her father behind her.

“I’m sorry, Oliver” her father spoke, despair cracked in his voice all over. He knew her father, when despair hits him he goes all quiet. He was sorry for her family, they don’t all deserve this.

Because he knows it was all on him and his unfaithful ignorance about her.

He never bothered to ask about her problems and obliviously stayed blinded at her own facade smile, which is a cracked masked she wore for her entire life. And he stayed with her for many months without even bothering her about her issues.

He’ll never forgive himself for this until the very end.

He never said anything to them or her father, it was when he suddenly recognized he was also crying endless tears.

 

 

The next day, his friends heard what happened and were completely sorry for him. But he said that he rather leave it all to himself then, since this one of his personal problems to deal with himself. He said he wanted to move on from it. And soon they accepted his request.

In which, her death affected him to changed him completely.

But it was never easy. But he did kept on going, for him and for her.

 

And ever since Mia’s death, he became someone which his friends appreciated him more than he ever recognized them they did, and he was thankful for that.

He was thankful that he did change, he became less passive and more like the humble type, kind and mysterious at the same time. Ever since that, it was funny to him that after the three weeks he changed, Hannah told him that some of the guys have crushes on him, more specifically his friends perhaps, but as the weeks go on he did also recognized the people surrounding him was starting to get intrigued about him, in which he doesn’t really mind at all.

Because before he became the most intriguing person that ever been in the school he was weird and a loner, an average boy just like everyone else minding their own damn business. And since the change, the people around him that are intrigued but has less confidence was starting to change their perspective on him, and he’s surprised to hear about that.

And he was dedicated to hear about it, to change people’s hearts around him.

But even then, he just wishes he never met Mia in his entire life, because if he did she would have been alive by now, she wouldn’t have disappeared in the world and went to her designated place where no other place here existed. She was loved by everyone, even he himself does, but now he think she deserves to be loved more than anyone she ever knew.

Both their memories still haunt him but each day he still kept on going, and he tried to help himself to feel better with them on his side up until now.

Yet all he ever wishes was to just go back to the past and bring her back. And hoping somehow his lamentation to her would die down over the few years.

 

 

Then that same day with the audition he had, he met a guy named Joshua Franceschi.

      He was one of the new students in school who is older than him in two years, which means he’s already in twelve grade. He was new here for two months, unlike any new kid here in school he was the cool type. He was everyone’s favorite. Josh was the cool kid type, but not a complete asshole to anyone. He’s just really cool, and that’s the cool part about him.

Hmm. They seem to have one similarity then.

      The dude was also kind, nice and the very chill type which everyone was looking for in a guy. He has his hair brushed back and unshaved bristle all over his jaw, he wore dark colored jackets all the time like Oli but except Josh’s was fitting and sometimes it’s a varsity one and a leather, like one of the bad guys.

 Girls sometimes would throw their panties all over him and every single guy he knew here in school was friends with him, like literally. From seventh grade up until twelve grade. Which was surprising since he was a new student here. But maybe because he was very different, like Oliver.

Although at the other hand, Oli knows him but Josh never met him before. Since Joshua seems to be the popular type obviously he was known with a title from the whole school. But Oli is just one average kid like any other average kid here in this building.

 

So it was surprising to see him running up to him with no kids around the hall except the two themselves. Wasn’t he supposed to be in his next subject?

When the other brunette reached Oli, he was panting breathless. In which Oli looked at him baffled.

“Uhm, are you perhaps to be Oliver Sykes?” The taller of the two asked, still panting.

“Yeah.” Oli, as the same type of personality as Josh is, answered with not a single nervous blurt.

He swore at the corner of his eye he saw some of his friends hiding behind one of the pillars inside the hall. But he brushed it off as he focuses on the person in front of him.

As he observed him, the older male was uncharacteristically talking nervously in front of him out of all people, he looks slightly flustered and was oddly sweating, despite him running a while ago.

 Oli always thought that he was the type to be confident around everyone and his most know chill type, but when Joshua Franceschi talked to him for the first time, the single moment reminded him the time he talked to Mia when he went up to her to be friends with.

_God not now Oli, don’t ever think about Mia ever again remember?_

Oli mentally shook of the thought of his ex-girlfriend and remained going back, when he was supposed to, he was snapped back to reality automatically by no other than the senior in front of him.

“I perhaps that this belong to you?” Josh presumed, his voice tone hinting a weird smirk behind it but Oli didn’t care, his hand holding out a rose like keychain. The keychain was made out of silver parts and is changeable in its positions, with a tint of color red on the petals and green on the leaves. With his other keys hanging on the keychain, like his house keys and locker keys!

“Oh god, I didn’t know! Thank you though.” Oli exclaimed softly as he slowly took his keys from the seniors’ hands.

He opened the lock from his locker with his keys as he started to get his books, but as he was in the middle of it Josh interrupted him with a coughed. Oli tilted his head around to face him.

What came out of Josh’s mouth was something he never expected from him to ever say.

“I was meaning to ask though, uh, can we like… I don’t know, hang out?” He seems extremely anxious in the inside after he blurted the words out he wanted to say, he can actually feel what he was feeling, and he actually understands what it really feels like with his current situation.

Wait. Hang out? What does that supposed to mean?

Oli intently thought what he said and tried to remain his cool from the senior in front of him. Joshua Franceschi, out of all the people in the whole universe and this ruin building, would ask Oliver Scott Sykes to hang out with him?

 

Well, that come off unexpected anyway.

The younger brunette was skeptical, I mean where the heck his friends are anyway? Aren’t they supposed to be with him? They should be with him instead of him, because he can’t just hang out with an average kid like Oli. But also considering, as he deeply thought about it, he did recognized a few plot points in their own similarities.

They’re both different. Sure. But both of them are under the category of the most intriguing people in the whole school building, no other kid is and it was really weird to think of it since there are a lot of people to be precise. But almost all the years Oli has been studying in this school he has observed the same faces of people in this school that says intense curiosity in their expressive faces, despite so he isn’t exactly popular like Josh.

 And then there’s the taller brunette, a new senior in school but after two whole months he became the most popular guy in school who plays guitar, football, and part of a band in which he gave kudos to that.

So yeah, both of them _are_ the most intriguing people that ever existed inside the school ever.

 

Oli always imagined hanging out with Josh before a week he’d seen him in the school grounds, the intriguing guy was intrigued to the other guy who is also intrigued to him. Isn’t that crazy? They seem so different, yet they have such similarities to each other. He really wanted to hang out with him, but something inside himself said that he should bring him down since he has other friends to hang out with too.

Speaking of friends, he already knew who’re those people hiding behind the pillars, the color of their hair and hair shape gave out a hint to him in which he concluded that the others are Carlile and Gaskarth, sneaky little bastards alright. Yet he still didn’t mind them anyway.

They’ve been giggling like little school girls behind the pillars and their whispers to each other are absolutely loud, it was pretty embarrassing since they’re both spying on both of them. Plus, they’ve been squirming a lot in their tiny hiding spot and their body build is visible since theirs are pretty width.

He got to admit though, he was kind of jealous that all his friends have good body built, and then there’s just Oli.

Anyway, Oli said yes to Josh’s request. After saying so, both of the two idiots came out and happily cheered and congratulate Josh for going it on with him. Oli just lightly laughed it off with them. He placed his keys inside his bag after locking them and went after his class despite him being a little late.

But at least he got to see something different his time.

Although, after Josh has asked Oli to hang out with him, they’ve been hanging out a lot a little too much. They apparently became best friends after three weeks they’ve been hanging out. Oli’s and Josh’s group recognized this and they seem to not mind at all, although the two groups met each other once before and they seem to get along too well. And that’s when Oli’s eight group of friends and Josh’s eight group of friends; Max Heyler, Dan Flint, Vic Fuentes, Gerard Way, Ben Bruce, Brendon Urie, Patrick Stump, and Pete Wentz became one huge group of people. Equally sixteen people are now collided into a new group.

Oli and Josh though, didn’t know this.

 It is when one day they both bumped each other in their way to school they decided to be together up until they reached the building, and once they’ve went to their most designated place to hang out with their friends, they were all in one place talking to each other.

They were both stood there amazed and sparks of fireworks flying off their eyes and the whole group greeted them, both of the two were so shocked that they both laughed it off in unison and concluded that they love the idea that the two groups turned into one whole group. In return, the whole group cheered from both their reactions to it and their acceptance to the idea.

Oli and Josh was incredible happy with it. It would mean that they would hang out a lot more without separating their ways with each other.

 

Hannah though, she was kinda sad that he wouldn’t hang out with her since they both have the same schedule, but nonetheless she was honestly happy for him since he found a new best friend to hang out with all the time. Although, she also told him that there are more people in the new group are starting to like him and silly little crushes to each other. Which he always laugh it off, but at the same time he was kind of blushing from the thought.

To be specific, Oli is bisexual, he found both genders in the whole entire world to be beautiful and attractive to him no matter what. But since the incident, he’ll just prefer to stay single for as long as he wanted to. And he decided it that way.

And Oli, well, he wished that this moment with his new set of friends would never end.

 

 

After three whole months, Oli recognized that Josh has been quiet and not much focused with him the other days without any reasonable reason.

He seems to be busy whenever Oli asked him to hang out at times, and unlike the times Oli says he doesn’t mind, he does mind. But sometimes he think that maybe Josh is just really busy with something and maybe he should also have time for himself and everyone else than always he himself, and that’s when he gave in the thought and idea. So he let Josh be, he does have other friends anyway, but considering that Josh is his best friends wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway.

 

And that’s where the roses came in.

When he was on his way to his locker, he saw a rose stuck up on the locker door with a letter carefully slipped inside and is visibly pushing out, a way for him to grab it without opening the locker door. He grabbed the note and flower carefully sliding it off the edge of the locker door and successfully pulled it out.

He took a glimpse at the rose and studied it for a moment; new red bloomed rose like the open fields of summer and fields of a heavenly garden, that’s when he recognized the sun shine through the transparent glass window behind the silhouette of the rose as he looked back at it. It gave him nostalgia to his favorite flower shop.

And his favorite scenery, a good scene to take a picture for his picture album.

When he managed to open up the letter completely, surprisingly there was unexpected strawberry scent on the letter itself that made him shiver his spine. Oli has a thing for strawberry scented things and how would this secret admirer know this is his soft spot for his favorite scents?

Well, he wish he would find out about it.

He read the letter, surprisingly it was only a sentence.

 

‘ _You’re someone I’ve never imagine I’ll meet in my whole life. –Anonymous_ ’

 

Oli slumped his shoulders down slightly from the thought of someone sending him as anonymous, but the sentence was something, and has feelings in it. The admirer was hinting him about themselves, and he was curious about who it could be.

Though, the rose thingy was too fancy. But he does love the idea that this anonymous person was giving him his favorite flower that is still fresh like sunsets and scent of the fields from new horizons. He gently bit his lip from the very thought of this admirer.

But something inside him stopped him in his tracks.

_What if it didn’t go well? What happens if it ended up the same as---_

Oli mentally gasped and shook himself alive and violently. Hell _no_ , that’s impossible. Because he knows that this person is someone different and new. It’s not possible that this will affect them from his previous relationship.

But somehow, melancholy hugged him from behind softly.

Sadly, what if it does? What if it did?

 

Sigh. Maybe, maybe he’ll just try to pretend that his negativity would just disappear slowly. He knows that this would just be temporary to deal with, his emotions are important to himself like everyone, but taking it as a big deal would make everything worsen up. So he’ll just lay it off down.

But still, he couldn’t help but doubted the thought.

He’ll try. He’ll try to promise himself to try to give in if he does.

 

 

The admiration he was getting from the anonymous person was going on for more than weeks. They’ve been leaving hints through the favorite places he’s been with, they’ve also been giving him gifts like a necklace that has a rose on as the pendant, a small red ruby ring he has on his ring finger and his favorite sweets.

The letters also, their words were captivating him completely. So much emotions to just simple sentences that he was always left breathless to read, because whenever he was left with those words, it was making him lure to this person he wanted to meet so much.

Because how can they know him more than he knows himself? It was impossible right??

Or maybe it’s one of his friends! Wait. That’s impossible since they don’t even know this person too.

Although Josh wasn’t there with them that much since he was too busy about something he doesn’t seem to share but to himself, though his friends also doesn’t know why he seems to be so busy since they rarely see him busy before, it is only when they just have projects to do that’s where he is complete serious mode only. But it seems they don’t really have heavy projects that time, or more likely all the time since then.

But really, Oli’s going to admit, he does miss Josh, he doesn’t seem to be too attached to him that much before like they’ve first met but he still longs for their friendship.

He’ll wait for him until he comes back.

And so did after school ends in this day, he goes home with his friends and went up to their separate ways. Oli went home alone to his apartment and went on to the next day.

 

**\- flashback ends -**

 

Oli took the bouquet of roses to his table along with an attached letter from the flowers.

_What could they have in mind then…_ Oli thought from the letter itself.

And as he opened it, he wasn’t surprised that the paper now doesn’t have scent but what completely caught him was that the message sent to him this times was a dialogue directed to him.

 

‘ _If you are ready to meet who I am, you need to go to the place where you mostly see your friends the most. –Anonymous._  ’

 

Oli was deliberately shocked from the words, although he was excited and also smiled from the idea that he was now going to meet the secret admirer he wanted to meet for a very long time, and honestly he was nervous about it.

But then his smiled faltered.

 

Even though he might be excited to see this person, he was also terrified, he was scared that this person might ended up being the same person he used to love back then, but he promised that he’ll try, he’ll try for this person. He’ll give his full attention to this person, he’ll give his all and share their own pain with love and care. He’ll try to never be a cowardice to everything. He’ll try.

It’s just that, he couldn’t help but can’t.

 

He doesn’t deserve to love someone who’ll just end up dead in his arms. He was like a walking threat, a walking curse. A person who held a dark secret and vile poison in his presence.

But in which he loved them so much, but when he does he’ll just ended up breaking into pieces.

This is the reason why he can’t love anyone anymore. He’ll just end up hurting them and he himself too.

But he’ll try, he’ll fucking try. For this future lover of his.

Because they deserve to be loved more than he ever does. They deserve it.

 

He took his rose keychain, locked his door and went outside.

 

The only place he knew where most of his friends hang out the most is school mostly. More specifically the block of stones on the school’s quadrangle. Though he realized the look of the sky’s sun was captivating him, the orange glow and shine of the sun setting was beautiful, if only he had his cellphone with him to take a picture.

He went back to find the stone blocks, and when he did he found the whole school was empty and no one seems to be around except for the guards still being there. Yet he did went over the blocks but his eyes lies no figure around.

But he did found something, he found a letter lying around the stone blocks. He took it immediately and opened them.

 

‘ _Try to find the place where you met the eight people in your life. –Anonymous._ ’

 

So this admirer of his was hinting him places where he could find them huh? Well, alright then, he’ll play. Oli quietly giggled.

He went to the cafeteria in the very corner, the red table that are mostly the odd one out. It was really unusual that this table itself was the complete odd one while the rest of the tables are tinted in royal blue and the seats itself too which is very weird. But he didn’t care, it was his favorite color anyways so be with it then.

Another note was placed on the very center of the table and Oli went to grab for it, leaning over th etable and reaching his arm out to the object laying in the very center of the table. And then he opened the letter.

_‘ Next try to find the place where you got the very first note and rose you’ve received from me. –Anonymous._ ’

 

Oli chuckled to himself and bit his bottom lip softly. Simple, it was from his locker.

 He bolted up from the stairs and went over the many lockers stuck from the walls of the school. He can feel his heart beating so fast, because he knows that this person could just be around the school ground somewhere and would be possible in ever corner, but he kept on going on his steady pace to his own locker.

When he reached his locker, he was relieved that the note was there. He pulled the thing out carefully and opened it, then took out the note from its place. Somehow he might have thought that the letter smelt of red velvet cupcakes he loved to eat so much.

_‘ Almost the last one, try to find the place where you first auditioned for the theatre play. –Anonymous._ ’

 

Oh of course, the same thing where he was accepted for taking a character, and also writing songs for the play itself.

Although, it wasn’t really specified which part of the entire theatre is, so he just assumed that it’s going to be the stage itself. When he went there he was actually pretty lucky that the auditorium doors are opened and there was someone cleaning inside. But the thing is, how couldn’t they be intrigued with the letter lying on the stage by itself? Oh well then, beats him.

When he opened all the lights to the stage, he was completely right. The thing was lying on the floor.

He crouched on the floor of the stage and took the letter, he stood up and before he opened it the janitor commented.

“The thing was lying there all by itself, but it seems like it was really meant for someone since it was packed nicely.” And after that, the janitor left. Oli blinked yet he didn’t care.

When he opened it, he read the thing. But when he read it, he was left bewildered, the sentence that was delivered in the message was straightforward and demanding in between.

 

_‘ Outside, the exact time were you and Josh bump into each other and walk until school. –Anonymous_. ’

 

He was intrigued and disrupted how this person would knew exactly where the place he and Josh bump into each other. It was impossible for someone to know the exact event itself when there are only a few student around them that day.

Could it be, that it’s one of his friends that are the anonymous then?

No wait, that’s impossible since all their friends are at school at that time waiting for both of them.

 

But then, it somehow dawned on him.

 

_What if this is Josh?_

Oli completely stop on his tracks.

_Impossible._ Oli solidly thought so.

Oli knows Josh too well, he was straight, straight as a metal rod like what he said. And it would be impossible for Josh to love someone like… Oli. He grimaced at himself for even thinking about both of them being together.

Josh deserved someone more than him.

 

But then, he couldn’t help to think about it. Imagining the thought of himself in a romantic relationship with his best friend. He does recognized it now, sometimes the senior looks at him in a different way more than any other person he has hung out with. Despite Oli being the most observant person after the era changed, he still felt oblivious around everyone, but he did sense something from Josh.

His pace of personality and aura was slowly changing ever since they decided to hangout like best friends. He seems to change after each and every day, he could have contradicted that he was the same Josh before he met. He knew him before they both collided, he was outgoing, enthusiastic and charming like what he thought. But the thought that Oli’s sudden presence being with Josh was the reason of the change, he can prove that, the transition of the change was half on instant.

His best friend was slowly being someone different, but he can’t put a finger to it to what kind of apparently.

But still. He really cared about him, but the feelings seems to make him feel perplexed, but yet his feelings for his best friend in a platonic way would never change.

Though if this is really going to be Josh, which he doubt would be, he’ll promise that he’ll be there for him until the end, life or death no matter what. He’ll move on from his ex-girlfriend. He’ll promise all his promises to him. All the secrets that they can only know to each other, the memories that they’ll share and would forever be cherished.

He’ll promise to be there for him until the end of time, if Josh would do the same for him too. He’ll do too,

But if it isn’t him, then he’ll be the judge to it.

When he reached outside the gate, he had a small mental block about the place where he was supposed to find. He searched everywhere for the person he was finding. But then when he spotted a figure walking by he realizes it was Josh.

“Josh?” Oli exclaimed. When both of them spotted each other, they both stopped their tracks. The two stood opposite on both sidewalks parallel to each other while the orange sun shines on both of them. They were the only people on the visible sidewalk around them, just them. His best friend stood there with his hands inside his leather pockets. Both of them face to face.

Oli’s body faces completely to him. He took a moment to feel the daze around him before he fully have his attention to him.

 He asked him in wonderment.

“Uhmm, you might perhaps saw a letter here somewhere?” He mumbled, but loud enough for Josh to hear.

 

The next thing was that Josh started to gaze at him, in a very different way. But then he spoke with a genuine smile creeping on his face.

“You mean…” his hand slowly pulled out from its pocket a letter, wrapped around with red thread with a small red rose-inked stamped at the middle part of the opener of the envelope. And at the same time he pulled out a complete bloomed out pure red rose in his hand.

“…this?” that last syllable came out as a small mumble too.

 

Oli stood there in shock and astonishment. He couldn’t believe it.

Everything dawned on him. He realized now.

 

It was all on Josh, the nervousness from the beginning predicted it but he just simply brushes it off as if it was just normal. But then the hang out thing also happened.

And then the fucking hiatus he became those three weeks from him.

It was all on Josh, he did all of this to Oli. His best friend loved him.

The words that captivated him, the emotions poured from it. It was all his feelings for him. His true emotions that took his breath away.

The time he read the first letter from his locker and the rose he had received from him. The pendant, the sweets, and heck the scented strawberry taste and his favorite rose.

It was all on Josh.

 

“It was you.” Oli quietly dawned. Tears forming on his eyes. Complete shock all over his face.

Josh smiled softly that was filled with love and care. Longing blue eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry I kept you waiting.” He softly apologizes, the mixture of his feelings never left his face for him.

“It’s alright.” Oli stated, his eyes softly fluttered from his gaze to him.

 

And out of all things it was broken down by no other than the melancholy itself.

The feeling poured all over his chest like it kissed his cheeks. His smile slowly faltered him but he tried to kept on smiling for him. He have to stay sane for him.

_Remember Oliver, no more tears right?_ He reminded himself in his quiet mind.

The tears fell on his eyes. It was embarrassing, he wish he could just control it completely inside his head but then negativity started to ruin it and spread, somehow for such a long time he never knew he would completely brokedown in front of Josh for the first time. His future lover.

Oli opened his eyes and tried to slow his breathing, though when his eyes reached Josh he seem to also falter on his body language. His eyes was blurred by the tears that stayed on his hazel brown eyes.

He can’t hear Josh from the blabbering, but what he recognized was the sound of fate beside him.

 

 

He can’t believe it. But then what choice does he have left then?

_When back in eighth grade, after Mia’s death. He was traumatized to a brink of tears. He remember her words and teaching on how to calm himself if there is an episode happening. He was young, he couldn’t take everything on an instant and take control of it perfectly. But if she’s here maybe she can help him take deep breaths and comforting words from her soothing voice._

_But since then, he just realized he was just alone. Alone in the room with no one around him. No one to help and no one to be there for him._

_Slowly, his world behind his eyes started to fall apart in shattered glasses. The impact of the trauma he has experience was making him hallucinate to things he cannot describe, where black dots are spreading all over his eyes and surrounding was making him fell to apathy._

_He was so tired._

_But then, what else can he do? She was gone, she can never go back and change time._

_He just wished someone else loved her. Than he does._

_And that’s where he felt the hands of fate gave him a new different perspective._

_But not it a good way._

 

 

Oli held his head back, and closed his eyes as these tears fell down to his own eyes.

_It was a curse. A curse for one’s lover to experience death after anew and anew._

His eyes half lidded, looking up at the still orange sky. Regret and reminisces written all over his face. Despair can only felt his chest and it burns him until the very core.

_I should’ve know._ He concluded the thought.

 

Somebody must have gave him the signal that there’s was going to happen.

And it’s the last thing that’s going to happen.

The curse will end here once and for all.

 

And everything turned in slow motion.

He remember the times he met Mia, she was the best friend he ever had in his entire life. She never left his side and was glad he has her in his life. But ever since that accident happened to her, he can never forgive himself for hurting someone. He wanted to thank her for the memories and everything they’ve done until her death.

And he’ll never let that happen to Josh.

 

Because he sense the curse was up to kill him.

 Before Josh could take a step in the very center of the road, Oli mumbled under his breath with a pained smile that said a farewell.

 

_“I’m sorry…_ ”

 

He bolted at Josh and forcefully pushed him forward and in time the fucking truck Oli predicted and sensed that would appear out of nowhere have finally, finally hit him.

_I promise, the curse will end here._

The hit almost made him fell out of the ledge of his life. Like a single rock leaving him at the edge to hold on but it will never last longer.

_These beautiful memories will stay with him until the end._

Josh screamed, stood up and bolted up to reach for Oli, he didn’t care about everything around but he was crying for help. Tears started to flow recklessly from his eyes and into Oli’s bloody body. The driver of the truck called for emergency but Josh still didn’t care.

_I want you to remember me. Please._

Oli’s last strength made an opportunity to grab his keychain in his pocket, he grabbed Josh’s face gently with both hands.

His body was numb, he absolutely felt nothing but his arms and the remaining nerves he felt at his upper body, but his heart was slowly fading its beating every passing second. The pain was slightly numb and was instantly gone after the hit.

He took Josh face to him and place his lips on his gently and passionately as it can be. He just wanted to let him know that this is what he felt for him, this is where his feelings would pour.

This one kiss. His very first and the very last from his death.

 

 Tears fell from his eyes too, there’s just some words he wanted to tell him before he fall.

_I wanted to tell you how much you deserve someone than me, but I loved you._

“No! Oli fucking please, God don’t die on me!!” Josh screamed, hugging him tightly. Kissing his forehead each time and taking him for dear life.

Oli held Josh’s hand and placed the keychain, the object that started everything with the both of them. From their memories from each other like he had with Mia from the beginning, where he learned to love and learned to control everything. Yet Josh made him the best person he’d ever been in his entire life. And he was thankful he met him since.

He was a miracle. And he deserve to live.

_Thank you for everything…_

Josh glimpse at the keychain and looked at Oli with torn emotions and shock all over his face.

He can feel his heart beating slowly, his body slowly started to feel numb and his nerves, his eyes also sarted to slowly black out. He placed his hands on his face and tried to open his eyes as he tried to as much as he can. He can’t speak properly but he whispered instead.

“I love you, thank you for being there for me ever since.” Oli murmured, but was loud enough for Josh to completely hear.

And he kissed him one last time. Then let him go.

“No don’t fucking say that! Please just don’t… please…. You mean so much to me please….” Josh quietly sobbed as he held Oli tightly on his chest, kissing his face.

“… don’t go.” The murmur passed him.

“I’m sorry …” Oli stammered, he’s slowly fading as he held his last breathe, before everything falls and Josh screaming in complete agony. His death lead him to where he was designated to the place he has to go.

 

_“Someone will love you, but someone isn’t me……”_

 

 

 


	5. Despair, But You're There Somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mid-plot of a story I abandoned to write again. 
> 
> But here's a glimpse to what's it about, in Josh's perspective:
> 
> Josh, Oli's secret lover, has been together for almost ten years ever since BMTH's second album came out. He was always been off the picture when it comes to working in general, same as goes to Josh. Their relationship has been quiet and secretive to the public that they were lucky enough no one have the guts to gain scrutiny between the two. Although, the two also held respect to each other's privacy at all times, even when it comes to the bedroom. But seeing each other for almost half a year was not Josh has expected from Oli's decision of having a long-distant relationship. 
> 
> But, after Josh learned about Oli's case from an unknown blight that had his lover's life deteriorate every day of his existence, he was purely devastated and was completely tormented. No one knew, literally no one knew what this curse is about, not even Oli. All of them have no clue what this plague is. However, just when Josh heard everything, he remembered all about it. He remembered he tracked down the history of this curse and was the 'only one' to know.
> 
> In the end, there's nothing he could do.

It has been 3 hours, 39 minutes and 41 seconds since I've been gone. For me, in my situation right now, a lot of things have happened this month despite for it only being a few days recently. Like, a lot.

For the most in my side, our band has been hiatus for only a year ever since we released Night People. Nothing that much happened except the usual experiences we've always get in my behalf, but pretty much not an issue happened in between those days. However, after the announcement of the hiatus, we've parted ways. Of course it's only temporary but we still need some rest like always.

But back then inside those days, it was sudden but I was kinda suspicious when I noticed that I never heard a single thing from Oli in that year, ever. I haven't seen him in my timeline in social media nor have I ever even seen him personally from then on. I was oblivious at that time, upon realizing it back then I got a little delusional about him from that time.

The thing that it went on me having on and off delusional episodes from thinking of him too much and getting paranoid at the same time, but when I found out that their whole band was actually in progress in making their new album; I was pleasantly surprised, to be honest. But at the same time, I'm actually a little excited about it.

And that itself, made the ticking time bomb inside me go off, inactive. Because who knows one day it might go boom.

After hearing it; like I said, I finally got peace. It went on like that for the whole year up until the end.

Except when something happened after the announcement of their album tour after the releasing of their new album.

It was that time in January where I heard about the new album tour from him and the whole band themselves announcing it, as the usual 'me being so oblivious and suddenly realizing what happened and noticed it after' i only knew that they said the exact same thing which I thought was a cool coincidence, only gave me a hint of it afterwards.

It's just that after they posted it on twitter, something inside me tells me that they posted the tweet at the exact same time with the exact same words. Trust me it does look like it, the same exact time it posted (10:10 am) in the morning with the other members too, the exact same date, the exact same format and all that you could think off.

Upon finishing off what I just thought that time, my mind went off thinking it might be the guys joking around but then announcing an album tour is impossible to be made as a joke right?

Then suddenly, just like that, ever since the announcement, the aftermath of it after a few days later was deadly silent.

But not the kind of silent we know, it's the kind where no one even talked about it. Oli, usually the one I know who re/tweet a lot every 2-3 days when there's a new album they're selling, he, was intriguingly out of character. I've recognized it, he didn't touch his account ever.

In the eyes of the other half, it sure sounds normal but the fact that it has been 3 fucking months after the announcement was actually a bit concerning.

When I first heard it, I was a little startled. Instead of me carelessly thinking that he was just really busy- which is impossible since they just released their new album- it actually got me really anxious- panicked almost.

Suddenly, just by thinking about it, my memories of the past years at that time came back and dawned on me.

Everything that I felt after comprehending it fell into a hole.

Relieving the old knowledge that I went back then to do made me realized that I'm not actually surprised. It's like bipolar, you were completely panicking then suddenly you went deadly calm.

After all, I know how the world works, if this thing still kept on going and reached Oli at the end. I have no knowledge of what the consequences of what will happen to him.

But that doesn't mean I'd leave him there to suffer. Fuck no, I'd never do that.

I'm not stupid. I've theorized it all before since the very beginning.

***

I may know what things are going on around right now but after getting home from a trip, I just knew something was off when I stood in front of our shared apartment room door. Apparently, Oli and I have been together since 2010 and we never left each other since. I've got to know more about him that I temporarily would all throughout those years even if we were even separated. But I know one thing for sure what I always have to do:

I just have to be there for him.

And no, that thought itself wasn't an obligation for me to do. I never pity Oli.

_I fucking love him._

In those months- years prior, ever since we knew each other I knew him more than he himself does. The way he acts, the way he expresses emotions and the aura he gives off when he's in a room tells me what he is in the kind of state right now, or any kind of situation he may be in, or a problem he's going through. If I never developed that detail observation and gave in to the habit, I'd never even wanted to think where he would be right at this moment.

I never left his side, I'll only leave him alone if he wants some space to think. But if he's doing something I know that is wrong, then I act quickly even if by means breaking some of his limitations.

I stood by the entrance door, I didn't notice it at first but when I was about to get my keys at my back pocket, at the corner of my eye I saw the door was ajar. It caught my attention quickly and stopped me from what I was about to do. I squinted my eyes to see if it actually was.

It is, it's breathing cold air. But one thought invaded my mind.

_Did he leave the thing open?_

I was baffled for a moment contemplating whether I should just call the police or walk inside, but I know I might be wrong. However, I chose the latter option.

After just stepping one single fucking foot in the room, it's where my instincts started to boil.

Just the look of our apartment covered in complete darkness and the ringing of silence just tells me something was  _completely fucking wrong._

It's when I finally comprehend what's going on and the first thing I've heard was Oli's sobbing the split-second I went inside.

I bolted to our room and grasped on the doorknob to our bedroom. My mind was running wild, I expected that the door might be locked but when I strained the thing open it was not, surprisingly.

As I busted the door open my eyes landed on Oli, sitting on the floor at the side of our bed. His knees were held close to his chest tightly and was hugging both of it.

The light wasn't on also but the only visible light that was illuminating right now was his phone, lying on the ground with the brightness too high. Then suddenly it went off.

He's fine. I sighed in relief as I lay my eyes on his shadowy figure. Before so, I clicked open the small lamp that was beside the door I stood so I can see him better. Just by looking at him breaks my heart.

I might have guessed I didn't recognize it at first but...

His hair was a mess, his eyes were still fresh from tears and were sniffing every other minute. He was trembling so bad, I just wanted to hug the life out of him right now.

But before I do so, my eyes, again, decided to scan the whole room.

And it made me froze.

He was surrounded by printed pictures, all of them was what he took years before and I recognized the others were also really old. Not only that, there were a few papers scattered and surrounding him also. However, what I observe is that they were written in red marker, crumpled.

It gave me a minute to read one of them without touching it.  _Big fucking mistake_.

My eyes were as wide as I can imagine while my heart dropped to the ground the very moment I recognized each and every one of them.

_They were lyrics._

But they weren't ordinary lyrics, nor the lyrics from the new album they've released.  _These were old lyrics._

It was one of their most famous releases back in 2008, its when they found out their new and very different style. They instantly became popular back then when they released it in My Space in that time. It's where I found out about them.

But the fact that I knew what happened that time, I'd never knew in my whole life that  _just the name_ itself was a  _huge_  red flag in my case. I was finalizing everything from discovery, history and theory but I ended up getting nothing on how to  _stop_  it after the bullshit that happened back in that year.

So I ended up leaving t behind. And never touched it ever since.

But in this very moment, I didn't knew it already came.  _In the middle of it._

From that, I'm not only terrified about that thing they've released. I'm mostly terrified about the  _curse, and the fucking outcome of this new era._

And it has, horrifyingly, landed on Oli. The last person that I ever wanted this curse to land onto is him under all circumstances.

I've been waiting it to land on me ever since, but I'd never  _ever_ believe that the time has already came.

I can't- I've never been this oblivious my entire fucking life.

 

"J-Josh?"

I snapped back to reality the second I heard Oli's voice. My head tilted to look down on him, he was staring at me, but what makes it weird is that his face was hinted with concern all over it.

It's just that one moment, I knew I have to act fast. For god's sake, I should be the one concerned about him not him concerning about me!

I ignored his protest as I knelt down beside and hug him as much I can. But I knew this hug was gonna meant differently. Somehow, hugging him was already foreign to me. Though on instant he hug me back.

From that moment, I just have to bring him to bed. He needs it.

He's done for today, I don't want to see him breakdown again, it's been four years.

Slowly I helped him up on his feet and made him lay down on the bed. I tucked him on our blanket and wiped all the dry tears that are still on his cheeks. It's like a connection, whenever I see him crying it's like I wanted to hurt someone for doing this to him. But no, I know it's not a  _someone_  who's hurting him at this moment.

As I told Oli that I'm getting a glass of water for him, he grabbed my arm stopping me on my tracks.

I turned around to face him and when I did, his head was peeking through the blanket that was fully covering him. Yet through those eyes, I can still see redness in them.

"P-please, don't leave m-me...." His voice, hoarse. It has been a long time since I've heard his distorted voice, I've only heard them from him after one of his old concerts on tour. He must have been crying after I've left three hours ago, and it's only filled with pain.

My eyes fell lidded, I knelt down again face-to-face with him and combed his hair back, leaving a kiss on his forehead. Letting him know that I'll be there for a minute and I'll be lying right beside him later.

He understood as he let me off through the door up to the kitchen.

I wasn't just getting water for him, I'm summarizing everything from that incident. Hell, I didn't even bother to ask if he's okay or even picked up those pieces of crumpled paper.

I just don't want to deal it right now, not when it's quarter to midnight.

I went over the kitchen and went through what I have to do.

 

My mind is all over the place, my heart seemed to be dull when I observe more and more while it's scaring the fuck out of me is making me paranoid. But it's not just that.

I was also wrong. Remember I said there were a lot of crumpled white papers scattered around him? I recognized it was only fucking  _10_  of them. It almost made me flinched just looking at it.

But then it dawned on me.

I suddenly felt numb when i stumbled on my tracks and almost dropped the glass of water as I held one of the chairs of the dinner table.

 _The symbol._ It wasn't an eye, it's _a number.  
_

The number of deaths, victims , the experiments that occurred.

_Then another one hit on me._

It's the anniversary, it's the  _10th anniversary_ of the curse and the album, it fucking made sense. The  _curse_  was on a hunting spree to land on Oli on its 10th anniversary.

I palmed my face as another revelation left on me.

_It's the only album they've ever released that has 10 songs._

So that means....

I jumped on my feet as I remember what the lyrics were he written a while ago.

It was  _Sleep With One Eye Open._ So that means its....

Oh holy fuck, it's Matt Nicholls.

"...shit." I mumbled under my breath, shocked. Matt was one of his best friends and I couldn't even think that he's one of the  _curse's_ victims. Imagine what would be his reaction upon just finding out the exact moment that his best friends gonna die in his walking threat.

I just can't even imagine Oli's face. He'd be killing himself at this point.

But weirdly, I couldn't help it but does that mean he's dead or?

Hm, if he would be dead right now Oli would be in panic mode already. He'd be crying on my shoulder right now and repeating words like 'I killed him', 'he's dead', 'she's gone because of me' and similar in between those words. He'd be a huge mess and his would be face so red from crying so much that there would be no tears falling from his eyes at all.

God, just by remembering his facial expression from the time Vegan died from drinking too much was making me want to mercy-kill Oli from his misery. He threw tantrums that time and was in hysterics, he was endlessly screaming of wanting to kill himself from accidentally doing this and that, he'd just lie there on the ground like he used to back eight years ago. But I know he's just so clueless, and I'm just hating myself for not telling him about it.

_Sigh._

I'm enough of thinking right now, things just keep getting worse and worse every second I'm having revelations, it's like its not even ending. I'll just take care of this tomorrow morning.

Right now, my priority is keeping Oli sane.

Even by means I know I won't ever see him again. I just want him to remember that I'm there for him ever since, but I know I've been lying to him and myself for so long.

But that's alright, and I know it's not. I never had a choice. My last chance here inside this earth was to finish the last theory, then finally the last era of the phase will be done.

I went inside our bedroom, upon going inside I found him with his eyes close but after the second I went here he must've sensed my presence, because right now his eyes were open within two to four seconds.

Nonetheless, even if everything seems like its dragging the world through hell right now, I still gave him a small smile letting him now that everything would be fine. Yet I only get a blink from him. He looks so tired, physically, emotionally and mentally from the looks of it.

I walked up to our bed and placed the glass of water to the small dresser beside the bed. Grabbing the sheets, Oli sensed to move a bit so I could lie beside him.

We stared at each other for more than a minute inside the calming yet melancholic silence around us. It's was comforting, silence between us and only the two of us was our comfort ever since. One day, and possibly till the end, this silence that once was our comfort would be the reason of my deep despair.

I'll never have the freedom of choice, if this is what fate wanted then why the fuck would it even give it to me. In another note, why would you even give it to Oli.

Both of us never wanted this.

"Josh?" Oli mumbled.

I hummed, signaling him that I've heard him. My eyes perked up to give my full attention to him.

He was contemplating in his words, I'm guessing he's not entirely sure what would my reaction to what he would say to me. I can feel a premonition going on just this moment.

"Josh, I just wanted to say that I.... I'm sorry."

What?

I blinked a few times. "W-what're you sorry for?" tone full of worry, I caressed his face with my fingers. Pushing a few of his hair locks away from his eyes with these too. There was a few seconds of silence, then he spoke again.

His response was not I was expecting.

"... for being a problematic shit to you." His smile, he's giving me that melancholic smile again, his eyes were the same as his bloody smile. No, fuck that. I know what he's up to. Fuck him, he needs to stop that.

Suddenly my own body took control and grabbed both of his arms and pinned him to the mattress below. The blanket still was covering both of our clothed bodies while I knelt between both of his legs.

Oli jolted when I did so, he wasn't actually expecting me to do this to him at all. His face angled up to face mine. Perplexed, he tilted his head to the other side to appear confused with his brows narrowed. There's also a hint of anxiety roaming around his face.

I at the other hand was breathing hard from his words earlier. Because bullshit, I'm not falling for his dumb excuses for killing himself again.

"W-what's wrong, Josh?" He stuttered, I still can't believe how careless he would be, I don't even believe that he's actually even confused.

I just don't want to talk right now, just please not now. I'm just so done with problems roaming around this hell month.

So upon that, I pressed my lips on his own, making him hum in surprise.  _God,_   _I've missed this so much._

My hands left his wrist and roamed around his body, I hooked my arm around his lower back upper than the waist and the other doing the same but under his back waist this time. Both his arms though, wrapped around my neck and gripped me gently. Before our fist kiss, I always thought that Oli would be the aggressive type to kiss people that would break your neck or your back, but boy was I wrong, he's just the opposite of what people expected from him.

 _I missed this._ I just miss the times were we usually spend so much time together just like what best friends do but in a relationship as a difference. But when it comes to the bedroom of course we don't do what best friends do anymore. We've both lost our virginity to each other, and I was kinda happy that we did. But right now,I don't want sex right now. I just wanted to feel his pair on mine and mine on his. No sex, just what I needed for pure comfort right now.

Oli's my comfort, and I'm his comfort too.

We just don't want to loose each other.

I know, it's not gonna last. But I know I'll try to make it worth it, for him.

 _"I love you so, so much..."_ I said.

"I love you too, 'till the very end....." his words lingered my being, a premonition left me that this is a lie in finale.

But thank you.

 

_1 Year Later._

 

I lie on my bed. Alone.

It's been a year he's gone.

His presence, smell, appearance and features still roam around this apartment of ours. The aura still feels like he still existed, like he's just not here but making the next album, going out with his mates, I wouldn't even care if he was gone out cheating on me.

His haunting presence just still lingers here. But he's just not there.

 _Stop it Josh,_ I scolded to myself.

 _He's already gone,_ but where exactly?

 _Dead. He's dead,_ I concluded.

The feeling of dread and despair finally hits on me like an avalanche.The realization that he's not here anymore but gone killed my apathy on strike.

I've finally let the tears fall from my eyes, but I gave no reaction. I'm too tired to feel anything anymore.

He died from suicide. Simple right? No.

The lists of songs from the album Suicide Season was the last song that targeted on him, exactly the album title itself. All the songs where targeted on different people. Luckily, Jordan Fish, Matt Nicholls, Sam Carter, and even Tom ,his brother, all lived because Oli was  _able_ to save them.

The rest, dead.

The last target of the 10 targets in every  _experium_  (fake greek word for  _experiment_ ) of the holder of the  _curse_  would be unknown. It can be a love one, your dignity, your memory or anything in particular.

But for Oli, it was him on the last list. It completed the circle. The fucking curse already killed him.

I gritted my teeth out of anger and jolted myself in a sitting position screaming at nothing in the mourn of morning. The sheets around me got tangled, my hand almost grabbed an object to throw at the rotting wall in front of me. But instead I punched air.

" _Are you fucking done??!! You've got what I've loved for a long time and what else do you fucking want??!!_ "

I panted, suddenly just from screaming at nothing makes me want to cry myself to sleep until my next mourn of morning.

 _I just want him back._ Please, I'd do anything-  _fucking anything_ to get him back. Bring him to life, please I don't care if vultures are real I just  _need_  him back, I wouldn't care if the last era hit me.

He was my everything, everything that I never I myself have. He was the light to my world and the other part of me that completes my enirety.

I've loved him for 11 fucking years. I never stopped loving him.

But now, I just wanted to die.

And just that, my hand palmed my face and I let my emotions take over me like a tidal wave of sorrow and agony.

The morning seems so bright and cool, the air feels like I'm made out of fresh made silk and made my fuzzy mind feel like he's there like an illusion. But the feeling of morning was just another tint of despair in my recipe.

I still linger here, mourning and longing his presence. Just then finally i was my turn to experience the  _curse,_ the last era.

 _I'll see you there Oli._ I thought to myself.

I'll never know where my soul will roam around the surface of the earth but I know, I know i'll have to wait for my death in the 10th target in my  _experium_.

_We'll be together, forever 'till the end._


End file.
